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Win a copy of Nobody and Every Other Day by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (ends 2/20)

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

A Passion for Velcro? Then You Must be a Zombie

Welcome to Day 1 of our (Carol and I) celebration! First up to the chopping block is none other than Amanda Ashby, the Queen of Zombies!
How did you become a zombie?

Long story short there was this stupid girl who thought she was doing a love spell but actually did something entirely different and in the process turned everyone in the area into zombies. Yeah, I know, talk about bad freaking luck. And the worst thing was that I had just bought some seriously cute shoes. I mean they were red and shiny and looked all sorts of great with my skinny jeans, but can you wear cute, red, shiny shoes with your skinny jeans when you’re a zombie? No, you cannot, but don’t get me started on lack of basic motor skills because it will only get me angry (and you know what they say, after anger comes the hunger!)

How did you come out of your grave? Were you scared when you woke up and found yourself buried 6ft under?
Grave? I dream of a grave since at least I would’ve had my five minutes of fame for being dead, but nope, I got nothing. One minute I was normal and then the next minute I wanted to eat fingers. Where’s the justice?

Do you think being intelligent is a good trait?
No way – intelligence is totally over-rated. I mean look at me, I’m not clever and I turned out just fine – apart from the whole zombie thing of course.

How do you get smart? Do you like to eat brains?
Okay, so I’m going to let you in on a little known zombie fact but the whole brains thing? Total myth and if truth be told they give us indigestion. Now, fingers on the other hand – delicious.

What about flesh in general?
Yup – big fan!

Do you prefer to eat humans or animals or zombies or you don't discriminate?
Humans – yes – though not the smelly ones because really a girl needs to have some rules.

As for animals, that’s a big no mainly because of all the fur involved. I mean flossing is hard enough at the best of times but throw in the bad motor skills as previously mentioned and it turns into a disaster waiting to happen (in fact if I still had my eyeballs in tact I probably would’ve taken one out by accident).

And finally I can assure you that I would never eat another zombie even if you paid me. Nothing to do with principles of course since it’s hard to have principles when you’re the living dead, but it’s just the whole decaying flesh thing is a total turn off.

Is eating zombies frowned upon or ignored?
No – they just taste bad. Kind’ve like tripe (and if you’ve never been forced to eat tripe before then lucky you)

What's your first fave body part to eat? Second fave?
Fingers, fingers and more fingers.

Do you prefer them to be raw or cooked?
Cooked but let’s face it, we can’t always get what we want.

Do you put salt on them first for flavor?
I might be dead but I’ve still go to worry about my health and do you have any idea how bad salt is for your cholesterol?

What's your favorite seasoning?
Ketchup. What a perfect invention that turned out to be.

Do you eat the eyeballs?
Okay, now that’s just gross. Do you have any idea how hard those things are too chew?

Organs?
Only at Christmas

What do you do with the blood? Do you drink it or just leave it to waste?
That’s like asking if I eat the wrapper of a Mars Bar and leave the chocolate. Oh, speaking of chocolate, I might just need to grab another chocolate covered fingers. Have I mentioned that I like fingers?

What do you pee?
I’m going to take the fifth on this one since I don’t want people to think I’m un-lady like.

What do you poop?
fifth

What's a celebrity that you'd like to eat?
David Boreanaz’s wife so that then David and I could be together. Is it wrong of me to use my special powers for evil?

Do you smell like rotten flesh?
Absolutely not - okay, perhaps just a little bit - but you know I met this guy yesterday and he said the smell was sexy. Of course then I ate him so I guess I’ll never know if he really meant it or not.

If you could turn your family, would you?
No, I’m not a sharer and they might make me go and get food for them.

What is your fave perfume? L'eu du Zombie?
Hehehe – more like ‘ewh du zombie’

How do you dance? Do you shake your 'groove thang'?
I don’t care what anyone says there is no reason why a zombie can’t go line dancing.

What do you do when your body parts fall off? Do you tape them back or staple them? Or glue them?
I’m more of a Velcro girl myself and here’s a handy tip. Make sure you use matching colors because let me tell you there is nothing worse than sticking your arm back into your leg socket. People can be so mean. Of course mean people have fingers so it normally turns out okay. Well, for me anyway...

Why do zombies dress all weird and ugly? Do you have no choice in what you wear?
Man the media have soooo much to answer for. Like I’m going to turn living dead and suddenly end up wearing a granny dress instead of my new hoodie and my favorite Tee-shirt. So not going to happen.

How do you breathe and smell if you have no nose?
I could tell you the answer but then I’d have to kill you (and by kill I mean eat!)
Amanda has kindly donated a copy of You Had Me At Halo OR Zombie Queen of Newbury High! Here's what you need to do to win a copy (winner's choice). This giveaway is INTERNATIONAL!

All you need to do is answer the following question: If you happen to be a zombie, which body part would be your favorite and explain why? And explain as to how you will "cook" it--seasoning, methods...

The winning entry will need to have creativity, execution, and by far the most important, humor. Meaning this is NOT a random giveaway. There is no limit to how much you can write or how little you need to write.

For a second chance to win, head on over to Carol's blog where you will receive a second question to answer. Please leave the answer to her question on HER blog. Only one winner will be chosen from the combined entries (meaning we will pick one winner from all the entries from both mine and her blog).

All entries (for all the giveaways) must be received, via commented or emailed, by 25th of April. Winners will be announced at the same time later that week.

36 comments:

  1. The heart because it's the organ that keeps us aliveeeeee. So being a zombie, my main focus would be trying to live and by eating hearts, I can "re-live"

    ahahaha :)

    stephanie
    juiciliciousssreviews@gmail.com

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  2. My favorite is the legs or the thighs..the legs because they taste like chicken and the thighs because they usually have a lot of fat! Yummy..hahaha
    Senfaye :P
    annieluvsmuffin@Gmail.com

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  3. The brain. Hopefully I'd get smarter by learning from the brain I'm munching on.

    bridget3420(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  4. omgosh the two of you really are nuts together!

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  5. Haha, fun interview!

    If I was a zombie? The thighs of a lean person. It will be like chicken, except human. Of course I'm a bit picky on the fat. I won't go for fatties no. I mean, how can you get to the meat when you get a chunk of blubber in your mouth?? Not to discriminate of course.

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  6. I cook the legs just like chicken legs over a fire and the thighs are better without being cooked because then the fat melts..BLECH!
    -Senfaye :)

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  7. How to cook it? Well, I like my human flesh fresh but well cooked. I may be dead, but I still care for my health! If I just choose any human, then I'm sure I'll be stinkier than usual. Why not choose one that will give me a more refinement smell like a rich, snobby teenager?

    I would look for a famous zombie chef cause honestly, I can't cook when alive so I doubt I will be able to when undead. Especially when I have muscle spasms every other minute, it's hard to keep the pots and pans on the oven still.

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  8. Personally I'd go for the left butt cheek (the right ones tend to be too tough) sauteed in a port-intestinal fluid redux and sprinkled with nose hair (quite a delicacy in some parts of the world - if you've never had it, oh, you must! It's to die for!).

    You could also get creative with the various appendages sampler platter as a nice appetizer, but really there's enough there to share, so unless you're big on fingers and toes, bring a zombie mate to divvy up the digits.

    To complete the meal, go for a palate-cleansing spinal fluid sorbet followed by heel cupcakes smothered in a velvety eye jelly ganache.

    Shirt and shoes required; arms and feet optional.

    Special notice: we don't serve children here, but if you bring your own, the chef can sautee them for you for an additional gratuity.

    Bon appetite!

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  9. Well of course, the brain. I told Amanda before that I had the greatest recipe for Brain Juice, so I'll share it with you!

    *For one drink*
    1/8 cup orange juice
    1/8 cup pineapple juice
    1/8 cup mango juice
    1/8 cup freshly squeezed lime juice
    3 oz. brain pulp (think of orange pulp)
    Mix it all together, and voila! Garnish with a cherry. Very tasty.

    *By the pitcher*
    1/2 cup orange juice
    1/2 cup pineapple juice
    1/2 cup mango juice
    1/2 cup freshly squeezed lime juice
    12 oz. brain pulp
    Makes 4 drinks

    Human brains work best, but I'd also recommend squirrel brains and pidgeon brains.

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  10. Forgot my email addy

    jaam121388 at yahoo dot com

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  11. I'd still have to try the brains...fried!! I'll eat anything that's fried!!!

    mj.coward[at]gmail.com

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  12. Haha what a funny interview!

    I would definitely eat the stomach area first. Well, the stomachs of people who eat good food, of course. That way whatever they ate the day I decide to eat them, some of the flavors get into the flesh. Sometimes I have to add something like sugar though, because occasionally the person had too many lemons and acids in their meal and sour food isn't really a zombie's favorite ;) But the person I'm eating definitely can NOT be a smoker, because really, that stuff just adds a bitter taste to the stomach area.

    It's always nice to drink some blood after so that it all goes down smoothly (a zombie's digestive system can get pretty fragile!) but it has to be B-postive or A-postive blood. The other types are just plain nasty! They have a funky salty flavor to them, and that's like a human drinking salt water. EW!


    michelle.kuool(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  13. I would have to say stomach, fried. Because then I get the yummy tummy and all the yummy things you already ate! And fried because everything is better when fried and dipped in Ranch.

    sports dot erikalynn at gmail dot com

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  14. This is really creepy isn't it? The pictures don't seem to be very pretty to me. But let's see if I were a zombie, I'd love the have the ears. When I was young my god father always teased me by saying he wanted to eat my ears and that makes me wanna try. I'll fried the ears and spill the spicy sauce on it or cook a hot pot of ears with mushrooms.

    Man, this sounds creepy.

    something_maybeATliveDOTcom

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  15. I am more interested in the inside. They are so yummy so I could die for them ;)...again
    1.First you open up the stomach, and split it aside.
    2. Take out the content, and save the liver, kidneys, and the intestines.
    3. Cook them, this is important so not to get diseases that will hinder zombie rampage.
    4.The Intestines goes in the oven, season with mint, cinnamon, garlic, and cardamom. That spells yummy, 30 minutes.
    5. The liver will be cut into little pieces and fry it in a pan with some leftover garlic. Throw in some potatoes and let it simmer.
    6. The kidneys will be finished after being cooked, so just cut into pieces and serve with a nice sauce. I personally recommend a mix of blood with some nice spices.
    7. Serve it all with the potatoes and eat. Be sure to include vegetables because even we zombies need our veggies.

    blodeuedd1 (at) gmailo (dot) com

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  16. I would go with the face because you should never turn your back on your enemy--be he human OR zombie. And that way, you know he's really gone.

    dibblyfresh1@gmail.com

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  17. When I was alive I was fascinated by Hannibal Lecter. He was my hero and I could only hope to aspire to his level of sophistication and intellect. Now that I'm a zombie, the intellect part is hopeless, and it's hard to be sophisticated when your flesh is rotting off your bones and maggots keep crawling out your nose at the most inopportune times, but I have managed to honor Mr. Lecter in one way: my body part of choice is sweetbreads. The thymus and pancreas glands are among the most tender in the body and are considered a true delicacy, made even more delicious by the fact that my mentor loved them. I like to soak them in salt water and then poach them in milk after removing the outer membranes. After that I like to bread them and fry until crisp. They are exquisite, especially with fava beans and a nice Chianti!

    mto2golsen at gmail dot com

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  18. The fingers would be my favourite. After all, each human has 10 fingers, or in special cases 11,12, 8, 9... Well, you get my drift. Either way, they can afford to spare some. What's the use of having all those fingers anyway?

    Answer: It just means that there's more for me to eat!

    Being a socially adept zombie, I wouldn't want to alienate other zombies and have them turn on me by serving them uncooked food, no matter how much we like it. This is what I would do. Pay careful attention humans, or I'll eat your fingers next!

    Just kidding, I have to cook this batch first. I'm going to show you one of my favourite recipes: Fingers ala Liyana!

    Firstly, the ingredients:
    1 tbsp curry powder
    3 tbsps butter, melted
    3 tbsps light brown sugar
    The fingers taken from ONE (1) human.
    1/2 cup orange juice
    4 garlic cloves, minced .
    5 c honey frosted flakes, crushed .
    2 large eggs



    Why so elaborate?

    I'm a zombie, not a caveman.

    Directions:


    1) Before beginning, set aside half of the frosted flake mixture.
    2) Marinate the fingers for about 15 minutes(we zombies are impatient creatures, but we love a well cooked meal) in a mixture of orange juice and garlic. Turn the fingers over once in a while to make sure the blood doesn't clot, so as to add a little zing! there.
    3) In a bowl, beat the eggs.
    4) In another bowl, mix the frosted flake crumbs, brown sugar, coconut and curry powder.
    5) With one hand(For more fun, try doing it using the human hand from which you cut the fingers off), dip each finger into the egg, shaking off extra drips, & place on the frosted flake mixture.
    6) With the other hand, coat each finger evenly with frosted flake mixture.
    7) Repeat, adding more of the reserved frosted flake mixture as needed, until all fingers are coated.
    8) Drizzle fingers with melted butter & bake for 20 mins or until cooked through.
    9) Leave the fingers out to cool, where the smell will attract enough human survivors for you to make a second batch.
    10) Enjoy!


    Please enter me in the contest. :)
    I blogged about this here.

    Email: loony_balooga_91@hotmail.com

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  19. adding on to my previous entry...*coughyancough*

    i would "season" it by just frying it the good old fashion way. I mean, fried chicken, anyonee?!?! plus...it's good for you :)

    stephanie
    ps. you know u want some tooo

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  20. I'm going to go with an arm roasted over the fire. YUM. (YUCK!)

    Nora
    wishonstars13@hotmail.com

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  21. haha I love it. I would be a vegetarian zombie which means that I would only eat the brains of other vegetarians!

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  22. omg these recipes are so sick. there are so crazy people on our followers lists!

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  23. ewwwwwwwww, but then i would do anything for good book, so well you know the best part are the eyes!!! no really i am serious!!! and what seasoning, well i'm all into spice right now, definitely turmeric and a pinch of garam masala to give it a bit of zing and maybe some lemon!!! not bad really!!! :)

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  24. Oh, god, I can't believe I'm about to do this.. don't judge me...

    Like, you totally, like can't just eat whatever junk you just wanna eat, you have to only go for the best. I only eat arms and legs and NEVER skin, it's so yucky. And I only eat the best cuts, never any of those nasty fatty cuts that are all some poor unfortunate souls can afford. And I only drink O Positive blood, nothing but the best and the rarest for me. And, like, OMG, I feel so sorry for anyone who has to cook their own food. Like, you know, I totally have my own cook who'll make me whatever I want whenever I want. Like, OMG, Gossip Girl's on, I g2g, call me if you need me, kthanxbi.

    I am so ashamed now. :P Laina1312@gmail.com

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  25. I like the arms on the body builder types. I don't like the skin though, muscle is my favorite! So I'd skin them alive, then I'd chop it up and saute it in a skillet with lemon pepper seasoning, my favorite! I'm good with the legs too, but I don't like much of the fat. If it taste like chicken, that's okay, but I'd prefer stuff that has a distinct taste! Oh, but the hearts are really tasty too! Especially if they're still warm and pumping! It makes me feel more alive, not that such thing is possible of course.

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  26. I've always loved thighs on chicken, so why not human? And I would cook it with 25 original herbs and spices like Colonel Sanders ... yum ... um, not that I would eat any human body parts mind you ... *licks finger* ...

    Lesley
    lesly7ch(@)yahoo(dot)com

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  27. My favorite part? Oh decisions, decisions. For me, it would depend on the body type of the person. Whichever part of the person has the most muscle and less fat. Fat gets stuck in my teeth, and like the annoying popcorn kernel, sometimes dental floss just doesn't help.
    Now, when it's fancy dining night, a Heart Penne with blood and garlic sauce is always delish. Brain works too, but I prefer the heart.
    Another good recipe is arm stir fry. A capful of Mrs. Dash makes the meal.

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  28. Well, I rather enjoy the fingers because they are always slightly diiferent. I can feel the difference in fingerprints by the texture. But they only serve as side dishes, like garlic sticks, but much tastier. My favourite part is the womb. Sound disgusting? Edward Cullen got away with it! It has many layers, yum.

    But seriously, we all know that a man's butt is the nicest part. Every women likes a man with a nice toush. And us Zombie's take it to the next level. Try it on a spitroast sometime. And a little bit of seasoning never went amiss. If you're worried about thieving vampires, add a little garlic. If not, season it with rosemary and thyme. Believe me, Gordon Ramsay should be having this in his restaurant.

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  29. Fingers, d'uh. Human fingers are like chicken fingers to us, y'know? Definitely the old colonel of Kentucky Fried's superduper improved human fingers recipe. No doubt.

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  30. BRAAAAIIIINSSSSSS! Clearly, you will absorb what the brains know. Zombies are secretly incredibly brilliant, you just can't tell because they have no motor skills and can't talk coherently. And the best way to eat them would be fried, because everything is better fried!

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  31. Being the Zombie queen that I am, my favorite part of the human body to eat is the tongue. However, only middle aged peoples tongues. To old and their sour, to young, there WAY to sweet, sort of like eating a green raspberry the month before its ripe. After I have succeeded ripping out the tongue of the humans mouth, I enjoy either eating it plane, cutting it into little heart shapes and baking them so they are crispy, or placing them on pizza like pepperonis. I don't need to use any seasonings because they are already so delicious!!

    countrystars95@yahoo.com

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  32. The arms and legs of course! And obviously, I would make them into Frito Pie! Extra spicy!
    sweet.me.lissa818@gmail.com

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  33. Toes. Since you are what you eat, awhile back, I decided to be a vegetarian so I'm all about the toefood. I like them lightly toested and seasoned with bits of Basil, Dill, Rosemary, Lavender, Pepper and some fingerroot with a dash of Ginger. Mmmm, tasty tasty red hair.

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  34. There seems to be a myth that's being perpetuated about us everywhere about us being complete and total savages, who tear humans apart from limb to limb and then eat them raw. I find this unfair, and frankly, quite gross. Is that really how the rest of you eat your chickens? No! We Zombie-folk (or the Grateful Undead, as we prefer to call ourselves) don't even quite care much for favorites. We're a gentle, tolerant folk who take what they get with gratitude and grace. Don't look at me like that; you all feed on the dead too. It's just a difference of species, really.

    If, however, I had a choice, I'd probably stick to good healthy, fat-free flesh, preferably that around the calves and the biceps. This would be roasted over a spitfire, of course, and would ideally be served with pasta fettucine (mmmm, carbs) and a fine, smooth cheese... preferably blue cheese. No need for extra seasoning. The real taste comes with the juices of the meat. Of course, if this were served with a fine shiraz, it'd be ideal, but I think even a glass of good, donation-worthy blood would do in a pinch. What can I say, we're classy like that.

    mya.rooney@gmail.com

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  35. I would go for the toes...That itself is a delacy, and you get the additional toe nails!

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  36. Obviously the big toe would be my favorite... It's much harder---if not impossible for people to immediately adopt to walking without their big toe(s) so just the idea of all those crippled people lumbering about makes it all the more tasty.

    Of coures, a touch of sweat and maybe some dirt so you know you've worked for it doesn't hurt, either.

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