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Friday, August 20, 2010

Vampires Suck, the Movie - Review

Have you ever watched a movie where all the funny stuff happens in the trailer!? Yeah well Vampires Suck is that movie. I watched the movie with my brother (because he hates all things Twilight) and we had some laughs. We had those exact same laughs while watching the trailer, see below:

I was damn pissed. The overall movie is nothing impressive with more embarrassing mortification than laugh-out-loud funny. There are so many potholes that I think you can fall through. I love parodies when done right and this was done wrong! It felt like a feature length YouTube video with better camera angles than anything.

  • The characters were spot on trying to impersonate the Twilight cast. Rebecca? She blinks and twitches as often as Kristen Stewart when playing Bella.
  • They made fun of Fox News! Yay! I hate Fox News!
  • There were some good songs. I am thinking of looking them up later.
  • Team Edward vs. Team Jacob FTW!
  • It showcased the Vampire Diaries book *beams with pride*
  • I can’t tell if they were making fun of the Twilight movies special effects or they just didn’t have any. On the fence with this one.
  • You can clearly tell where the foundation line ended and where the natural skin-tone began.
  • I don’t get why the werewolves didn’t you know…shift! Jacob turns into a Chihuahua and the rest of them dances with jean short-shorts. But does the rest of the pack not transform!?
  • Why happened to Angela? Did she get so little screen time that I completely missed her?
  • The ending. W.T.F. That doesn’t even make sense.
2 stars


  1. I absolutely HATED this movie. I'm a hardcore Twilight lover, but I was so excited for this. But you're right, everything remotely funny happened in the preview. (Except the large cactus thing in the beginning, I laughed quite a bit at that)

    It just got .. boring. And ridiculous. I know that this is a parody and everything, but like .. UNBELIEVABLY ridiculous.

    And I would've loved it if they threw in some other vampire shows/movies. Where was True Blood? I would've loved to see some parodies of Sookie and Bill.

    Overall, I agree with you. Just .. not good. A bunch of Twilight hating movie guys who just wanted to use the series to make money, I guess.

  2. I already knew this movie was going to be bad as soon as I saw the trailer. I don't plan on watching this movie unless it's free or I can stream it on the internet. The movie was made by the same guys who did Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, etc.

  3. Thanks for reviewing this movie! Have just arranged to go see it with my sister but now I think we will spend our money on something else instead :-) Have a great day!

  4. i honestly hated the twilight movies, and hates this spoof too. it wasnt funny, but i really like this review =] i didnt like how it contradicted itself on hating the original films and also being devoted to them, i had some thoughts at http://splicedreviews.blogspot.com/2010/08/vampires-suck-sucks-rename-it-team.html
    you should check it out, leave a comment if you like