Booty School Dropout: Would This Nerd Go Back to High School?
Flashback: I’m a freshman in high school, feeling lame because I’ve just taken the same girl-who’s-just-a-friend to the last two dances. When it comes to making heads of chasing tail, my moves are nowhere near Jagger. More in the vicinity of Groban.
Meanwhile, a crazy person has just invaded my bedroom, and she’s trying to convince me I’m smack-dab in the midst of one of the best times of my life.
“What?” she says innocently. “It is!”
|moves like Groban|
“Then here,” I say, handing her a pillow. “Put this over my face and press.”
Mom shakes her head, refusing to be an accessory to my death. She’d much rather see me die from embarrassment.
Then she agrees me some cinnamon rolls, and I’m over it.
I’m not gonna lie, my high school experience wasn’t exactly a big bowl of reefer cherries. I was boring beyond my years, a grandpa before his time, obsessed with tests and homework and whatever class election was coming up next. Snooze. I jokingly like to blame my sister for these problems, because that beautiful Homecoming Queen was way too popular for both our goods. Queen Clark had star power to spare, so I had no choice but to step out from the shadows and disappoint her subjects with the fact that I wasn’t, you know, her. Look out, here comes the little brother! Dude, why is he reading a book during lunch? That kind of thing.
But guess what? I wouldn’t change my awkward four-year stint for the world. Somewhere along the line, I learned how to be funny(ish?) as a way to compensate for my absence o’ social skills. To this day some would even say overcompensate—thanks for the unpleasant reminder, grouchy Kirkus reviewer lady! If I hadn’t learned how to make a majority of my critics laugh, though, then I wouldn’t be typing this blog post right now, trying to pimp a humorous book that’s loosely based on my life as a teen. See, everything crappy happens for a reason.
Regardless, even if the book heads straight for the bargain bin, I know exactly where to get some cinnamon rolls to ease the rejection.
Jay Baker is the debut author of The Edumacation of Jay Clark, coming out tomorrow!
Meet Jay Baker . . . or, as he is not-so-affectionately called by his opponent in the freshman-class presidential election--no comment.
A few random bullet points about Jay:
- He is stupidly in love with his best friend, cheerleading dynamo Cameo "Appearance" Parnell.
- He is also trying to score (points) with earthbound tennis-playing goddess Caroline Richardson.
- He is fighting a losing battle with Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
- He rocks a touché array of pop-culture references, jokes, and puns.
Root for Jay as he exchanges ego-blows with his mortal enemy, gets awkward around his dream girl(s), loses his marbles in a Bermudian love triangle, watches his parents' relationship implode, and, finally, learns to keep it real and be himself(ish).
- His family life cookie is about to crumble.
Does The Edumacation of Jay Baker interest you? Do you have a thing for Groban? Do you like cinnamon rolls or awkwardly funny guys? Well I have ONE (1) ARC of The Edumacation of Jay Baker to give to you lovely readers!
Fill out this FORM to enter!
In the words of the genius author, here is all his "shiz" links:
- Twitter: @jaypatrickclark
- Facebook: http://www.facebook.
- Amazon: http://amzn.to/jpclark