Want To Step In The Ring?

This time it's Sarah Ockler! Be prepare to pee in your pants.

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So I hear that before you were an author you had a job for WWE. Is that true?
Well... not officially. Here's the thing. I kept trying out, but I never made it past the auditions. I wasn't "strong" enough, they said. Not enough "muscle" they said. Strong? Muscle? Whatevs! Well I showed them. For six weeks I dressed up like the janitor, snuck in the back way, changed into my costume in the supply closet, and squeezed myself right into the lineup. Eventually one of the other Divas discovered my scam and ratted me out, the police were involved, very messy ending, etc.

The good news is that the restraining order expires next month, so I can audition again! *Crosses fingers!*

What was your stage name?
The Write Hook

Your secret technique?
I threw the book at them. Literally!

Your worst outfit?
Definitely the janitor duds. Shapeless olive green jumpsuit and cap.
Skulking about in the smelly garbage room. *So* not flattering.

Did you like those cute costumes?
Oh I <3 Bikinis or tights?
Both.

Booty shorts or leather pants?
Whatever was on hand. I mean, since I wasn't *technically* supposed to be there, I didn't have an official costume. I had to improvise. A lot. Usually I just dug through my old Halloween costumes until I found something that worked. So there was Bat Girl WWE Diva, which had leather pants. Madonna Diva, booty shorts. Strawberry Shortcake Diva, red and white striped tights. You get the idea.

What about boa feathers?
Boa feather pants? Hmmm. Not sure how that would work but I'd keep an open mind and give it a try.

Your muscle mass?
Erm, is this like some sort of religious thing?

Do you have a six pack?
Sure, but it's more like a 12-pack. A kind of bendy, sideways 12-pack.

Body slam or slamming with a chair?
If the book wasn't around, I'd give 'em the chair for sure.

Do you like to give the crowd a bit of some love before you perform?
Nah, I'm more the silent brooding intellectual type. I like to keep a bit of mystery about me - keep 'em guessing.

The Rock or John Cena?
The Rock, as in Alcatraz? Hey, it was only a restraining order. It's like they *arrested* me or anything. Man, people can be so judgmental!

Wrestling a woman or a man?
Man. Women are way too catty. They'll cut you, those girls!

Tag team or alone?
I prefer to fly solo.

Will you beat up Yan for me? (This was Carol's question!)
Hmmm. I guess I could squeeze back into the leather pants and give hera run around the ring for you. More just to scare her than to hurt her, though. Would that work?

Who do you think you can beat at wrestling?
Babies. I can totally win against babies. They're all "goo goo ga ga la la la blurp blurp eeee" and then BAM! They never see it coming.

Have you ever mud wrestled? was it fun?
This one time, at band camp... I mean, never mind. No. No I did NOT mud wrestle, and you shouldn't either! *cough*

Why did you quit?
I didn't want to, but the whole restraining order thing made it impossible. *Sigh*

Anything else you want to the add?
The life of a WWE Diva is rough and tumble, but if you're determined, persistent, slightly crazy, and willing to engage in a little shadiness to get in there, you, too, can make your dreams come true inside the ring!

XO

Sarah "The Write Hook" Ockler

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Sarah is giving away an ARC of her debut book Twenty Boy Summer (which I heard was fab-u!). This is a Canada and US giveaway only!

All you need to do is answer the following question: What is your stage name and your secret technique?

The winning entry will need to have creativity, execution, and by far the most important, humor. Meaning this is NOT a random giveaway. There is no limit to how much you can write or how little you need to write.

For a second chance to win, head on over to Carol's blog where you will receive a second question to answer. Please leave the answer to her question on HER blog. Only one winner will be chosen from the combined entries (meaning we will pick one winner from all the entries from both mine and her blog).

All entries (for all the giveaways) must be received, via commented or emailed, by 25th of April. Winners will be announced at the same time later that week.

Reader's Choice Awards!

So I was going through my google reader and came across this little post by YA Reads! I think this is a great idea!

"We’re starting a new thing here at yaReads. We want to hear what you’re reading and which authors you love the most, so we’re starting an awards system and we’re calling it the Readers’ Choice Awards. All we want you to do is head on over to the forum and vote according to the categories. Now we know that your time is precious and we don’t expect you to do something for nothing so we’re giving our readers the chance to win one of three prize packs simply by voting. Included in the prizes are titles such as:

Jessica’s Guide To Dating On The Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey
Shadowed Summer by Saundra Mitchell
The Fetch by Laura Whitcomb
Wherever Nina Lies by Lynn Weingarten
Fade by Lisa McMann
The September Sisters by Jillian Cantor

Here is a simplified list of rules:

To enter:

1. Vote on each categories here:

http://www.yareads.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=105

2. Answer the following questions here:

http://www.yareads.com/forum/viewthread.php?tid=926

together with your name, email address, and what prize you are gunning for (International or U.S.).

Best Book Blogger:
Nominate a book blogger for next month:
Nominate a book released on March ‘09:

If you’re not comfortable showing your email addy to the public, email us at yareadscontest (at) gmail (dot) com with your name (you still have to post on this thread, just w/out the email).

3. For additional entries, you can do 1 or more or all of these:

-post about the contest on your blog
-leave a link on your sidebar telling people about the contest

Tell us which of these things you did and post the link for proof.

Please share the word because not only will it be fun and you get to win something, you will also be supporting YA authors.

Happy voting and good luck to all!"

Sadly, I did not enter...I'm too lazy...yikes!

Huge Mistake!

I am not sure if anyone else caught it (probably did) but the interview I had with Cindy Pon had this huge mistake. It was the picture of the clown. When I first found it I thought "Perfect!" and used it. But instead of reading what it had actually said, "I'll touch your penis", I read it as "I'll torch your penis" so, um, yeah, huge difference! I apologize completely to Ms. Pon as it was not my intention to do that. I went back and fixed it...somewhat.

I need a Tylenol apparently...or a new brain...

Run Or She'll Kill You!

Run for your lives! Cindy Pon the killer clown has arrived!

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What made you become a killer clown?
Because that's what all clowns do.

What's your clown name?
Cavorting cupcake

What type of make up do you use?
Organic fruit juices. sometimes raw eggs.

What color wig?
Purple, of course.

Do you wear the ridiculous red nose?
I am blessed naturally with one!

Where do you get your fugly costumes from?
My grandma in the attic hand sews and beads and bedazzles all of my wondrous costumes. *twirls*

How long does it take you to get into your full costume?
I am NEVER out of costume. Except when I visit the doctor every 3.6 years.

Do you wear the giant shoes?
I have GIANT TOES so yes, I wear the giant shoes.

Do you own a fake flower that shoots water? What about those annoying hand buzzers?
I'm starting to become a little offended. I mean, I'm a professional clown. OF COURSE I have all these things. I also have a whoopee cushion permanently attached to my giant rump!

Do you hide your weapons behind props like your fake flower?
Inside my giant purple hair is the best spot.

How do you choose your next victim? Is it the most annoying kid?
*looks at you quietly*

Do you like to get a bunch of them and give them a riddle and whoever gets it wrong, dies?
What? Where are you hearing this kind of clown slander from? Nobody dies, as long as they follow the rules and answer the riddles. And stay away from rain gutters. nobody ever dies.

What do you use the balloons for? Do you feed them to the kids so they can choke on them?
Nah. I'm just addicted to helium.

Do you use pies hide poison in them? If so, do you make them yourself? Fave flavor?
I bake all my own pies! No poison! I am a friendly clown! My favorite flavors are SEA URCHIN and CHICKEN FEET savory pies. some may argue that that is poison itself. I would say there is no accounting for taste.

Can you kill Yan for me, please?
*squirts lethal gas at Yan with whoopee cushion*

Are you a con-artist as well? What about a pickpocket--are you one of them? Do you belong in a clown mafia? If so, what's your rank?
I work on my own. Everyone else just messes up my game. My title : CAVORTING CUPCAKE CLOWN CUEEN (that's pronounced like QUEEN--in case you were too dumb to figure it out. =)

Do you know of a clown named Buzzy down by the bridge?
Buzzy was made redundant two months ago.

What kind of car do you use for a fast getaway? Can it really fit all those clowns?
I drive a banana polka-dotted beetle.

Did you attend a clown camp? Or was this a family business?
I do not need "clown camp". *snorts* All my clown talents are god given. It runs in the blood, it does.

How do you dispose of the body?
*looks down at Yan*

I never do that part. =) I just run away fast.

Do you kill pets as well? If so, can you kill Sharon's cats?
Oh my. NEVER! I love animals! =D

---

Cindy is giving away a copy of her book Silver Phoenix, which I know many of you really want! This is an INTERNATIONAL giveaway!

All you need to do is answer the following question: What's your clown name?

The winning entry will need to have creativity, execution, and by far the most important, humor. Meaning this is NOT a random giveaway. There is no limit to how much you can write or how little you need to write.

For a second chance to win, head on over to Carol's blog where you will receive a second question to answer. Please leave the answer to her question on HER blog. Only one winner will be chosen from the combined entries (meaning we will pick one winner from all the entries from both mine and her blog).

All entries (for all the giveaways) must be received, via commented or emailed, by 25th of April. Winners will be announced at the same time later that week.

EDIT: Cindy is also giving away some bookmarks to the runner-up!

Trix Are For Kids!

Drum roll please! Presenting C.K. Kelly Martin!

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Why are you crazy for Trix?
Sugar, baby. It’s the sugar…well, that and the money that comes with my contract.

Is that really your face or is that a costume?
I think it’s pretty obvious that it’s a cartoon, not my real face. In real life I’m much more handsome (see the photo).

Why don't you wear any clothes and just go around in the buff? You're scaring little kids y'know.
Rabbits are traditionally nudists. There’s nothing unhealthy about that. Humans get hung up on the weirdest things! What I find disturbing is people dressing up their dogs. If dogs could make protest signs and organize the world would be flooded with dogs marching in protest against this odd human habit of covering them up.

Why do the kids always end up catching you? Are you not smart enough to come up with a fool-proof plan?
Oh, I could, easily. But that’s part of the contract too.

How do you find out where these little kids are anyway?
I possess, as most rabbits do, a very keen sense of smell. That makes it quite simple to track down anyone with Trix.

Did you put a tracking bug in them or something...or are you Santa Claus? You have some crazy ideas, I must say. I don’t need a tracking device – and Santa Claus is clearly not a rabbit but a rather pear-shaped human.

Why do you only go after little kids? Are you a perv in disguise?
Strangely it’s children rather than adults who enjoy Trix cereal. I can’t think why. I very much resent the suggestion that I’m perverted. It seems that you’re the one inferring untoward behaviour. Maybe you should ask yourself what that says about you.

Do you eat children along with your serving of morning cereal? Or do you eat them along with the trix?
I must say this is a very odd interview.

Why don't you eat carrots instead!?
I eat carrots all the time! But the sugar’s a very pleasant variation from my regular diet. You don’t get a sugar rush from gnawing on carrots, believe me!

What is your real name? Is it really Rabbit?
Rabbit? How rude! Of course I have a real name and it’s not rabbit; it’s Newell.

How do you know so much about the darn cereal yet you're always trying to steal others?
The contract, my dear. It’s all part of the contract.

Have you met Lucky from Lucky Charms before?
I’ve met Lucky a few times over the years, at conferences and such.

Is he nice? Did you give you some magic?
He’s friendly enough but not quite what you’d expect (and certainly no magician). In real life he has a very heavy Greek accent (they dub that out for the commercials) and his name is Christos. He’s also a bit of a trickster, tried to convince me to sign up for a Lucky Charms commercial. Needless to say I turned it down. Lucky Charms are alright but they’re no Trix!

Do all of you cereal cartoons have a convention or something and discuss ways to lure in kids?
We’re more spokesmen than ideas people. It’s the marketing team that comes up with the hooks. However, I do attend some conferences to sign autographs and the like.

Do you only lust after Trix or other cereals as well?
I’m fond of sugary cereals in general but Trix is the best (and I’m not just saying that because of my contract).

How did you come up with your slogan?
Again, that’s up to the ideas people.

Why did they name you the mascot for the cereal?
Originally they wanted my cousin William, popularly known as the Easter bunny, but he’s exceedingly busy and recommended me instead. He’s very generous, my cousin, a real family rabbit.

Why do you have very huge ears?
It’s a rabbit thing. Wouldn’t a rabbit with small ears look pretty ridiculous? But seriously, the ears act as our air conditioning system. When the weather’s hot we lose heat by circulating blood through a big vein in our ears. It’s a very handy system.

Are you an only child?
I’m the second youngest of seven rabbits. I have two brothers and four sisters but am the only one in my immediate family to go into show business. My siblings are much more introverted.

Can we have some Trix?
I’m not sure I really like you, given the hostile nature of some of the questions here. But tell you what, I’ll give the request some more thought and get back to you.

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C.K. is giving a copy of her book I Know It's Over! This is an INTERNATIONAL giveaway!

All you need to do is answer the following question: Do you lust only for Trix?

The winning entry will need to have creativity, execution, and by far the most important, humor. Meaning this is NOT a random giveaway. There is no limit to how much you can write or how little you need to write.

For a second chance to win, head on over to Carol's blog where you will receive a second question to answer. Please leave the answer to her question on HER blog. Only one winner will be chosen from the combined entries (meaning we will pick one winner from all the entries from both mine and her blog).

All entries (for all the giveaways) must be received, via commented or emailed, by 25th of April. Winners will be announced at the same time later that week.

Do You Want To See Something Jiggle?

Next up is Kristin Walker!

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Have you heard about 'Hooters'? Do you wanna join them or are they too conservative for you?
I tried to join, but they said I’d throw off the hotness curve by too much. In other words, I was a hotness outlier.

I didn’t realize until later that they meant I was an outlier on the low end.

But who knew that Hooters operated on such a precise mathematical algorithm? I know! I was shocked, too.

In your opinion are the Pussycat Dolls conservative based on your new lifestyle?
I don’t even put them on the guest list for my parties anymore.

What made you join a nudist camp?
I didn’t. I was kidnapped. But then they took my clothes, and what was I supposed to do? It’s not like I could hitch-hike home. Or drive. I mean, where would I keep my keys?

What did your husband think of that idea?
He was cool with it until they took his clothes, too.

Are you open minded?
I absolutely refuse to acknowledge any merit in that question. La-la-la-la, I’m not listeningggggg. Everything I believe is correct and everything else is wronggggg.

Do you enjoy showing your love to others?
I prefer just to email them about it.

When joining the nudist colony, do you make an campfire, burn your clothes and dance around the fire?
Unfortunately, that hasn’t been done since the Tragic Polyester Fume Poisoning of 1977.

Let’s take a moment of silence…

Do you have to have a bikini wax?
No, only the men do.

Do you feel pressured to be thin, waxed, and beautiful in the camp or do you love your body the way it is?
How do you know I’m NOT thin, waxed, and beautiful, HUH? Who told you? Mary Lou? Was it Mary Lou? It was, wasn’t it? She lies.

Do you feel sexy with high heels with nothing else on?
Please…you could be wearing high heels with a hospital robe and feel sexy. High heels make everything sexy. It’s true! Think about it:

Wetsuit = not sexy; Wetsuit + high heels = sexy

Overalls = not sexy; Overalls + high heels = sexy

Skanky, ripped sweatpants you’ve had for seven years and your dad’s old undershirt with paint drips all over it and armpit stains = not sexy; Skanky, ripped sweatpants you’ve had for seven years and your dad’s old undershirt with paint drips all over it and armpit stains + high heels = …okay, still not sexy. Actually, it’s kind of psychotic. Well, that one doesn’t work.

Is it weird to see all those dangling, jiggling body parts?
How did you find out about my irrational fear of butcher shops? Mary Lou again! Damn her!

Do your boobs hurt after all that bouncing when you run/dance?
Oh, there’s no bouncing. I just roll them up and tuck them in my armpits. (Hey, you try nursing babies for half a decade and see how yours look.)

What's your best asset? (body wise)
I have exceptional earlobes. Truly, I do. Even Mary Lou will tell you so. People comment on my earlobes all the time. Although they may say that they love my earrings or that my earrings are stunning, I know they really mean my earlobes. It’s just that white-hot jealousy prevents them from being forthright.

Do you like to frolic in the nude? Do you like to frolic in the nude with others?
I have never frolicked in my life and never will. Nude or otherwise. How dare you suggest such a thing as frolicking? Disgusting. You should be ashamed.

Does your husband get jealous of the leers that you get?
He gets plenty of leers of his own! He doesn’t need to be jealous of mine. Sheesh.

Is hugging weird or a turn on?
Depends on what I’m hugging. Hugging a clown? Weird. Hugging a Birkin Bag? Turn on.

(But just to clarify, I’d never be so shallow and materialistic as to hug a clown.)

Do you sit on other people's laps? If so, what's that like?
Well, yes, and I must say it’s rather uncomfortable, noisy, and remarkably expensive. Oh, wait…I thought you said “sit on other people’s laptops.” Does that count?

Anything else you want to add?
Yes, please. If you don’t mind…564,828 + 9,731,094 = 10,295,922

Phew, thank you. I needed to get that off my chest.

This was super fun! Thanks!

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Kristin is giving an ARC of her debut book A Match Made in High School (which by the way is hilarious!) along with some bookmarks! This is a Canada and US giveaway only!

All you need to do is answer the following question: Do you like to frolic in the nude with others? Why or why not?

The winning entry will need to have creativity, execution, and by far the most important, humor. Meaning this is NOT a random giveaway. There is no limit to how much you can write or how little you need to write.

For a second chance to win, head on over to Carol's blog where you will receive a second question to answer. Please leave the answer to her question of HER blog. Only one winner will be chosen from the combined entries, from both mine and hers.

All entries (for all the giveaways) must be received, via commented or emailed, by 25th of April. Winners will be announced at the same time later that week.

A Passion for Velcro? Then You Must be a Zombie

Welcome to Day 1 of our (Carol and I) celebration! First up to the chopping block is none other than Amanda Ashby, the Queen of Zombies!

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How did you become a zombie?
Long story short there was this stupid girl who thought she was doing a love spell but actually did something entirely different and in the process turned everyone in the area into zombies. Yeah, I know, talk about bad freaking luck. And the worst thing was that I had just bought some seriously cute shoes. I mean they were red and shiny and looked all sorts of great with my skinny jeans, but can you wear cute, red, shiny shoes with your skinny jeans when you’re a zombie? No, you cannot, but don’t get me started on lack of basic motor skills because it will only get me angry (and you know what they say, after anger comes the hunger!)

How did you come out of your grave? Were you scared when you woke up and found yourself buried 6ft under?
Grave? I dream of a grave since at least I would’ve had my five minutes of fame for being dead, but nope, I got nothing. One minute I was normal and then the next minute I wanted to eat fingers. Where’s the justice?

Do you think being intelligent is a good trait?
No way – intelligence is totally over-rated. I mean look at me, I’m not clever and I turned out just fine – apart from the whole zombie thing of course.

How do you get smart? Do you like to eat brains?
Okay, so I’m going to let you in on a little known zombie fact but the whole brains thing? Total myth and if truth be told they give us indigestion. Now, fingers on the other hand – delicious.

What about flesh in general?
Yup – big fan!

Do you prefer to eat humans or animals or zombies or you don't discriminate?
Humans – yes – though not the smelly ones because really a girl needs to have some rules.

As for animals, that’s a big no mainly because of all the fur involved. I mean flossing is hard enough at the best of times but throw in the bad motor skills as previously mentioned and it turns into a disaster waiting to happen (in fact if I still had my eyeballs in tact I probably would’ve taken one out by accident).

And finally I can assure you that I would never eat another zombie even if you paid me. Nothing to do with principles of course since it’s hard to have principles when you’re the living dead, but it’s just the whole decaying flesh thing is a total turn off.

Is eating zombies frowned upon or ignored?
No – they just taste bad. Kind’ve like tripe (and if you’ve never been forced to eat tripe before then lucky you)

What's your first fave body part to eat? Second fave?
Fingers, fingers and more fingers.

Do you prefer them to be raw or cooked?
Cooked but let’s face it, we can’t always get what we want.

Do you put salt on them first for flavor?
I might be dead but I’ve still go to worry about my health and do you have any idea how bad salt is for your cholesterol?

What's your favorite seasoning?
Ketchup. What a perfect invention that turned out to be.

Do you eat the eyeballs?
Okay, now that’s just gross. Do you have any idea how hard those things are too chew?

Organs?
Only at Christmas

What do you do with the blood? Do you drink it or just leave it to waste?
That’s like asking if I eat the wrapper of a Mars Bar and leave the chocolate. Oh, speaking of chocolate, I might just need to grab another chocolate covered fingers. Have I mentioned that I like fingers?

What do you pee?
I’m going to take the fifth on this one since I don’t want people to think I’m un-lady like.

What do you poop?
fifth

What's a celebrity that you'd like to eat?
David Boreanaz’s wife so that then David and I could be together. Is it wrong of me to use my special powers for evil?

Do you smell like rotten flesh?
Absolutely not - okay, perhaps just a little bit - but you know I met this guy yesterday and he said the smell was sexy. Of course then I ate him so I guess I’ll never know if he really meant it or not.

If you could turn your family, would you?
No, I’m not a sharer and they might make me go and get food for them.

What is your fave perfume? L'eu du Zombie?
Hehehe – more like ‘ewh du zombie’

How do you dance? Do you shake your 'groove thang'?
I don’t care what anyone says there is no reason why a zombie can’t go line dancing.

What do you do when your body parts fall off? Do you tape them back or staple them? Or glue them?
I’m more of a Velcro girl myself and here’s a handy tip. Make sure you use matching colors because let me tell you there is nothing worse than sticking your arm back into your leg socket. People can be so mean. Of course mean people have fingers so it normally turns out okay. Well, for me anyway...

Why do zombies dress all weird and ugly? Do you have no choice in what you wear?
Man the media have soooo much to answer for. Like I’m going to turn living dead and suddenly end up wearing a granny dress instead of my new hoodie and my favorite Tee-shirt. So not going to happen.

How do you breathe and smell if you have no nose?
I could tell you the answer but then I’d have to kill you (and by kill I mean eat!)

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Amanda has kindly donated a copy of You Had Me At Halo OR Zombie Queen of Newbury High! Here's what you need to do to win a copy (winner's choice). This giveaway is INTERNATIONAL!

All you need to do is answer the following question: If you happen to be a zombie, which body part would be your favorite and explain why? And explain as to how you will "cook" it--seasoning, methods...

The winning entry will need to have creativity, execution, and by far the most important, humor. Meaning this is NOT a random giveaway. There is no limit to how much you can write or how little you need to write.

For a second chance to win, head on over to Carol's blog where you will receive a second question to answer. Please leave the answer to her question on HER blog. Only one winner will be chosen from the combined entries (meaning we will pick one winner from all the entries from both mine and her blog).

All entries (for all the giveaways) must be received, via commented or emailed, by 25th of April. Winners will be announced at the same time later that week.

Sneak Peek!

So both Carol and I have been working on this all month long. Do you want to know what it is? Do ya'!? Too bad! You'll find out tomorrow. But here's a hint at what it may be!

Want another hint?

A Map of the Known World

A Map of the Known World by Lisa Ann Sandell (April 15th 2009—Scholastic)

Grade: 3 stars out of 5

Summary: “Cora Bradley dreams of escape. Ever since her reckless older brother, Nate, died in a car crash, Cora has felt suffocated by her small town and high school. She seeks solace in drawing beautiful maps, envisioning herself in exotic locales. When Cora begins to fall for Damian, the handsome, brooding boy who was in the car with Nate the night he died, she uncovers her brother's secret artistic life and realizes she had more in common with him than she ever imagined. With stunning lyricism, Sandell weaves a tale of one girl's journey through the redemptive powers of art, friendship, and love.

They say no land remains to be discovered, no continent is left unexplored. But the whole world is out there, waiting, just waiting for me. I want to do things-I want to walk the rain-soaked streets of London, and drink mint tea in Casablanca. I want to wander the wastelands of the Gobi desert and see a yak. I think my life's ambition is to see a yak. I want to bargain for trinkets in an Arab market in some distant, dusty land. There's so much. But, most of all, I want to do things that will mean something.
-- From A MAP OF THE KNOWN WORLD.”

Review: A Map of the Known World is an elusive book. I cannot seem to grasp the right words needed to form a complete thought. So let us start from the beginning—my expectations.

I was quite ecstatic that it was actually written as a novel rather than a verse poem. I wanted to see how Ms. Sandell would use her poetic method into paragraph forms. Will it still contain the lovely lyrical melody? Or would it fall flat like a sinking rock? There were some scenes where I can definitely see the melody she once had in the Song of the Sparrow. It came alive when she described the artworks—vivid imagery and creative use of mediums. Many authors would have stuck to paint or graphite but she went out of the way and used organic materials as well as metals—moss, fabrics, nuts and screws. But aside from that, the tone was strictly basic. But still good nonetheless.

I thought that Ms. Sandell captured the relationship with Nate and Cora well. It was through flashbacks that she presented Nate before the self-destructive persona came along. The caring brother and his road to anger came and went relatively quick. I think that if she spread it over the course of chapters then it would have had a greater effect. But it was still nice to find little hidden treasures of Nate everywhere.

Damien, however, was in and out. I felt like he was forced into the scene then forced out. The relationship between Cora and Damien was iffy and tremendously fast paced for me.

Speaking of Damien, in the book she mentions that his mother is black and his father is white. It seems to me that international backgrounds are becoming less scarce. Think about it, first there were Perfect Chemistry with Latinos, then North of Beautiful and the Chinese background, and now Damien with his mixed heritage. I think it is quite nice to find an expansion of this. Either that or the authors are writing about some fantasies—oh la la la…I am so off topic now. Moving on…

Overall: A Map of the Known World was a creative and fun outlet. Fans of Song of the Sparrow will be pleasantly surprised by this latest novel.

Cover A
It is simply stunning but also shows an important piece of art from the book.

You’ve Got Blackmail

You’ve Got Blackmail by Rachel Wright (April 2nd 2009—Putnam)

Grade: 1.5 stars out of 5

Summary: “Lozzie Cracknell is a girl on the edge. Her parents have recently separated; she forgot to mail the invitations to her mum’s super-important client party; the school bully is out to get her following an unfortunate e-mail incident involving Photoshop and a picture of a horse’s behind; and now it looks like Mum might be dating her English teacher, the utterly loathsome Mr. Hilary Barnett.
Just when she’s got about as much stress as she can handle, Lozzie and her best mate Dex stumble upon a tantalizing mystery—it seems Mr. Barnett is being blackmailed. But who on earth would blackmail a bore like him, and why? As they delve deeper into the mystery, questions pile on top of questions, and the one thing that does become clear is that danger can lurk in totally unexpected places . . .”

Review: So this book is short, extremely short. It took me less than 2 hours to finish this book from start to finish. Maybe it was the huge font or the txt msg like wrds?

My biggest frustration for this book has to be the writing style. I felt that while I was reading this I was being sent back through time to when the 5th grade. I felt like screaming “We teens may still be quite young but that does not mean we cannot understand complete and coherent sentences!” It was like reading from 10 year old point of view—childish, annoying, and random at moments. The characters were as equally charming.

The actual “blackmail” does not occur until midway through the book. Even then the blackmail is quite straightforward. I tried to solve the mystery of the culprit, following the clues and piecing the hints together, but alas, to no avail. Why? I expected twists and turns, like a true mystery. Instead I ended up with a give me. I thought too much in this case. Be warned when reading, DO NOT THINK. Just go with the flow…which may or may not be a good idea.

I am stressing. Why? I cannot seem to comprehend the book. What did I read? Was the entire book based on that 20 page blackmail!? Quite baffling.

The redeeming aspects of this book can be the humor. It was funny in some scenes. The ending was also quite decent.

Overall: …so does anyone have any good recommendations to cleanse my palette?

Cover C+

EDIT: I feel like I have to clarify something. The book does NOT per se use IM talk throughout the book. It was the persona or the feeling that something was not right. Like the language was overly simplified. Many authors today want to appear hip and cool, using slang words or very oral words like "becoz". I have a very strong disdain to these types of novels.

Monday Mystery: Janette Rallison

After asking about a bazillion authors I finally found one who wrote a really quick Monday Mystery for me! I'll have more to come later on!

---

Here is a random thought for you:

Is life believable?

It's something that authors have to take in consideration when they write. Are the actions and the motivations of the characters believable? And worse almost--are the other details believable? You noticed I didn't say factual. I have put factual things in my books and had my editor tag them as unbelievable. For example, when I was writing Just One Wish, I talked to my favorite TV star, Richard Hatch, who played the original Apollo in Battlestar Gallactica and who played Tom Zarek in the current series. I asked about actors work schedules and if they worked on weekends. He told me if they were behind schedule they did.

This didn't surprise me because once while I worked at a resort a camera crew came to film a commercial and they worked 16 hour days. The idea seemed to be that you once you started filming you didn't stop until the thing was done.

But since my editor didn't believe actors worked weekends I figured readers wouldn't either and I changed the dates.

I had dinner with my editor not long ago. We were talking about cooking and he told me that after Thanksgiving he had decided to make soup out of the Turkey carcass. (My first thought: why would anybody do that?) So he boiled the carcass in water--get this--for three days.

The result, needless to say, was not good.

"Why did you boil it for three days?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Just seemed like the thing to do."

He would never let me get away with that in my writing. Life may not be believable, but fiction has to be.

---

You can find Janette at her website!

Fragile Eternity

So I went a bit crazy with book trailers but I can't help it! Anyway I finished Fragile Eternity and my review should be posted in a few weeks.

Believe it or not, but this trailer is pretty darn close to the book.

Shine, Coconut Moon

Neesha deserves full credit~

Sophomore Switch

made by the author, Abby.

Google Reader

Do not, I repeat, DO NOT read the latest post I had. If you do then you shall die! It's titles "Trix..."

Winner!

The winner of my ARC of Going Too Far is Green Bean Teen Queen! I compiled the entries then shuffled once and had my lovely assistant Laura pick a number!

Reading Slump and Test Taking

Some of you have questioned about my "Hiatus" picture I posted quite a few days ago. That was mainly a precaution and nothing to serious. However, I may in fact have to take up on that unexpected offer though. Right now I barely have enough time to do anything but schoolwork. That means no reading, no reviewing, and definitely no posting. So far my hiatus will be around a week or less. I will continue to do my Monday Mystery mostly because I have most of done already. Meaning I have everything ready to go. My surprise for later this month will also be active. It has been planned for 2 months now and 90% of everything is done. This is also partially because they will be no better time than the one I had in mind.

So for those of you who are nosy, I am currently slumped with multiple tests, essays, and oral presentations. My ACTs and SATs soon need my attention as well. I am also in a reading slump as I type this. I have been on Fragile Eternity for about a week or so. I am barely half-way done. For those who know me, I read fairly fast, meaning a book in a day or two. I am just brain dead...

I apologize sincerly to those who I owe reviews or anything or that sort or anything at all. I promise to be back shortly, like in a few days.

Waiting on Wednesday! (7)

This meme is being hosted by Jill at Breaking the Spine!

One Lonely Degree by C.K. Kelley Martin (May 26th 2009--Random House)
"Anything is possible....

Finn has always felt out of place, but suddenly her world is unraveling. It started with The Party. And Adam Porter. And the night in September that changed everything. The only person who knows about that night is Audrey—Finn’s best friend, her witness to everything, and the one person Finn trusts implicitly. So when Finn’s childhood friend Jersy moves back to town—reckless, beautiful Jersy, all lips and eyes and hair so soft you’d want to dip your fingers into it if you weren’t careful—Finn gives her blessing for Audrey to date him. How could she possibly say no to Audrey? With Audrey gone for the summer, though, Finn finds herself spending more and more time with Jersy, and for the first time in her life, something feels right. But Finn can’t be the girl who does this to her best friend...can she?"

So I haven't been reviewing much as of later and for that I apologize. Once this week or the next few days are over, I should pick up the speed again. Next week I am going to have a huge surprise along with this other blogger so be prepared to be...!

Awards Galore!

First up! GreenBeanTeenQueen gave me a proximity award!

Rules:
This blog invests and believes in the PROXIMITY--nearness in space, time, and relationships. These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement! Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to 8 bloggers who must choose 8 more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.

Thanks to Kristi who gave me a Premio Dardos Award!

This award acknowledges the values that every blogger shows in his or her effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values every day.

Rules:
1) Accept the award by posting it on your blog along with the name of the person that has granted the award and a link to his/her blog.

2) Pass the award to another 15 blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgment, remembering to contact each of them to let them know they have been selected for this award.

So both of these awards I have been previously awarded so I think I will skip it. I really appreciate it ladies! It adds color to my somewhat dull color scheme!

Next up the Sisterhood Award! This one came from all over the place! Stephanie! Kristi aka The Story Siren! and Laina!

Rules:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.

2. Nominate up to 10 blogs which show great attitude and/or gratitude!

3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.

4. Let them know that they have received this award.

5. Remember to link to the person from whom you received your award.

1. Persnickety Snark
2. Ravenous Reader
3. H
4. Silvia
5. Prophecy Girl
6. Reverie
7. The Epic Rat
8. Tower of Books
9. Reader Rabbit
10. Genevieve

And finally a Zombie Chicken award from Alea!

The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the zombie chicken - excellence, grace and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words. As a recipient of this world-renowned award, you now have the task of passing it on to at least 5 other worthy bloggers. Do not risk the wrath of the zombie chickens by choosing unwisely or not choosing at all...

1. Sarah Ockler
2. Amanda Ashby
3. CK Kelly Martin
4. Cindy Pon
5. Katie Alender
6. Justina Chen Headley

Going out of the box for these two awards!

Breathing

Breathing by Cheryl Renee Herbsman (April 16th 2009—Viking Books)

Grade: 3 stars out of 5

Summary: “What if the guy who took your breath away was the only one who could help you breathe?

Savannah would be happy to spend the summer in her coastal Carolina town lying in a hammock reading her beloved romance novels and working at the library. But then she meets Jackson. Once they lock eyes, she’s convinced he’s the one—her true love, her soul mate, a boy different from all the rest. And at first it looks like Savannah is right. Jackson abides by her mama’s strict rules, and stays by her side during a hospitalization for severe asthma, which Savannah becomes convinced is only improving because Jackson is there. But when he’s called away to help his family—and seems uncertain about returning—Savannah has to learn to breathe on her own, both literally and figuratively.”

Review: Breathing was a tale of young love that steals your breath away. The sudden ache when you know that you are just meant to be, but the world prevents it. Or maybe just yourself? It’s the feeling that maybe you just are not good enough to be with that person that steals your breath or soul away. But, let’s aim for the positive. Breathing captured the essence of tender touches, ripping heartache, and soft caresses in one stunning novel.

Savannah was a poignant teen with an adorable sense of humor that you just couldn’t help but sympathize with. She reacts like what many teenagers do; the author captured this upcoming blossom beautifully. Child like innocence, random tempers, as well as the hidden love for her family. Her courageous stunts, her friendship, wrapped her personality with a tight red bow. But Savannah sometimes needed to grow a bit more—act more mature. She became too dependent on Jackson that she completely forgets her like pre-Jackson. Her free time circles around him even though he was not there—finding him jobs, phoning him constantly.

Jackson was a one man army. He was the perfect counterbalance to Savannah. The ever steady rock that held her to the world that kept her breathing. He was sometimes, however, eluding me when I tried to grab his essence. Jackson’s actions were somewhat predictable and often at times trying to please Savannah too hard or are selfish—never in-between.

The relationship between these two was an up and down roller coaster. He leaves, she cries, her returns, she rejoices—granted it wasn’t all that simple and whatnot. I did felt that the beginning could have been expended more. A more in-depth development—a few more words exchanged and some time between them to grow. The transition scenes were iffy and abrupt at points. And their relationship was, sad to same, was childish. Every scene was too melodramatic and I just wanted to turn the dial down a slight notch.

The Southern drawl was adorable within itself but felt a little much at times. What I greatly love the family relationship. I can relate to it wholesomely. Sure, teens may all hide it, but in the end we truly do love our parent[s]. And the author portrayed it in a beautiful fashion by creating a scenario where one boy can bring you all closer.

Overall: A great book that missed its mark a few times, but still delivered a powerful message.

Cover B-

Monday Mystery: Miley Cyrus

So you all have heard about Miley Cyrus by now right? If you haven't then think Hannah Montana. Now if that doesn't ring a bell, get out from under that rock. So she has a hit TV show, an hoard of screaming fans that love her music, and a Hannah Montana movie coming out soon. Well you may or may not know is that she, Miley Cyrus has written an autobiography, that's right people, an autobiography. Shocking, yes!

'"There are multiple sides to all of us. Who we are and who we might be if we follow our dreams." -Miley Cyrus

Three years ago, Miley Cyrus was a virtual unknown. Her life in rural Tennessee was filled with family, friends, school, cheerleading, and the daily tasks of living on a farm. And then came a little show called Hannah Montana.

Almost overnight, Miley would rocket to superstardom, becoming a television and singing phenomenon. Quiet days were replaced with sold-out concerts, television appearances, and magazine shoots. But through it all, Miley has remained close to her family and friends and has stayed connected to the Southern roots that made her so strong.

In Miles to Go, Miley offers an honest, humorous, and often touching story of one girl's coming-of-age--from private moments with her pappy to off-roading with her dad, Billy Ray, to her run-ins with mean girls. Miley talks about suffering through drama and heartbreak and coming out the other end unscathed (relatively). And now for the first time, she will discuss it all-the milestones still left to reach (driver's license! voting!), dreams to live out (travel to Asia! find true love!), and the lessons to be learned (remembering to enjoy every moment!).

This is a truly unique look inside the world of one of today's biggest and brightest stars as she tackles looking back and moving forward."

Miley said:“I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me. I hope to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together, and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams.” --SpreadIt

It released last, last week, March 3rd, under Hyperion. Interested? Then buy your copy at Barnes&Noble, Amazon, Borders.

But wait! That's not all! Apparently there is going to be a movie based off of this book!

"Billy Ray Cyrus apparently is looking for a Miley Cyrus look-alike to play his daughter in a film based on her new memoir, Miles to Go. The Disney flick about the young superstar's meteoric rise is likely to be out within a year. Casting will focus on a total unknown lucky enough to have been born with looks very similar to the "Hannah Montana" sensation."
--Chicago Sun-Times (lower bottom)

Hold it! I have more stuff to show you!



There I am now finally done! And thus, that concludes Monday Mystery. Hope you guys enjoyed it!

Yes!

So I finally managed to fix my issue with google reader! So you're probably getting an onslaught of updates from me but here's a short recap:

If I Stay review
A picture that says "Hiatus"
A picture that has a duck on it
Giveaway deadline announced
In My Mailbox
And a truly frightening teddy bear!

ARGH!

Stupid blogger is not showing my post up on the google reader thingy. Hopefully it'll fix soon or...

Giveaway Update

Decided that the deadline will be next Saturday...

Short Break: Part 2--Quack

I'll let you guys figure out what this mean

Short Break

for now...

If I Stay

If I Stay by Gayle Forman (April 9th 2009—Dutton)

Grade: 4.5 stars out of 5

Summary: Choices. Seventeen-year old Mia is faced with some tough ones: Stay true to her first love—music—even if it means losing her boyfriend and leaving her family and friends behind?

Then one February morning Mia does for a drive with her family, and in an instant, everything changes. Suddenly, all the choices are gone, except one. And it’s the only one that matters.”

Review: When I cracked open the first page of If I Stay I expected to go in crying my eyes out, snot running down my nose, and stacks of used tissues besides me. Well, call me the ice queen because that did not happen. But! I feel that I have to say that I did happen to read this book while in school…during an important test…in a classroom filled with silence and many many classmates. And I am a loud crier. So I held it in. So thus explains the non-waterworks.

Gayle Forman presents the reader an interesting question in her novel. What would indeed happen if I did decide to stay instead of letting go? What will I lose? What will I gain? What is there to live for? There were moments where the intensity, the heartache came full throttle at me that I needed a break. My eyes, teary, were blinking vigorously to stop the sobs from coming. I had to breathe in and out, close my eyes then venture back into Mia’s tale. I was that much of a sadist to be reading this in school.

The pace was exquisite. The way she switched back and forth from the hospital to the Mia’s past. She delved into Mia’s relationship between the family members—mother, father, brother, grandparents, her friendship, her love of the cello. Sometimes happy, others nostalgic, all great. Then it reverts back to the hospital—the painful experience of watching and waiting, hoping for the best in the end. Up and down, the emotions flew from page to page. What I love most about this method was the fact that I had a breather every few minutes. I could collect my thoughts and also the novelty of it all. If the hospital scenes were stretch out or if there were no “happy” scenes, I probably, most likely, will end up bored.

The characters were flawed—meaning it was well executed. Scratching your heads at that? Well how would you feel reading about a character who was so perfect? Annoyed? I definitely would be. So it was pleasant to read a book that had problems, people who aren’t so darn prefect, and ones that seem more human than a false image in your mind.

The writing style reminds me much of the stream of consciousness. I plan to not go into further depth of that—just pointing about something that I learned in school! Yay!

Overall: An amazing read that leaves me wanting and expecting more from Gayle.

Cover B-

Length

Has anyone else been noticing the sudden length of my reviews getting longer and longer? I had to go back to my old reviews for something and then I saw how short it was. Well compared to my newer ones at least. I think I blab or ramble too much. Oh well. Maybe it's all random since some of the reviews stored on my computer--that has yet to be posted--are fairly short so it evens out I suppose. It's just scary, the difference.

The Guardian

The Guardian by Joyce Sweeney (March 31st 2009—Henry Holt)

Grade: 2 stars out of 5

Summary: “Hunter has never had anyone to look out for him. His mother gave him away when he was young, he’s never known his father, and his foster mother leaves a lot to be desired in the mothering department. So when a mysterious, benevolent force suddenly starts coming to his aid, Hunter doesn’t know what to believe. Could he really have a guardian angel? Hunter so badly wants someone to care that he’s willing to take a leap of faith, and more. But when he finally learns the truth about his angel, he’ll have to decide whether it’s the best thing that ever happened to him or the worst.”

Review: The Guardian actually surprised me a bit. I was going in thinking that I will forever curse Sharon when she told me to request this book from the publishers instead of Also Known as Harper. So when it finally arrived, I was more upset. Why? Because the ARC cover was so so grainy, that my inner cover whore screamed no! But I finished it and I was slightly happy.

It was about two-thirds into the book that I really started to get into the book. That was when the emotional high of Hunter finally reached its peak. Where the frustration, and so-called guardian, all came crashing down. It was exhilarating to finally see Hunter fighting back. Always the quiet and fearful one, Hunter defends himself against the one thing that held him back, his foster mother. So applause goes to Hunter for finding his hidden strength.

The characters were a bit off. I think the author portrayed the opposite ends of the spectrum at times. Either you’re the wonderful goody little two shoes, or the badass villain. It was, however, the emotional appeal that was the most compelling. The heartache of never truly fitting it, feeling like utter crap being passed around through families. The unknown of your actual birth parents like the thought of you being so unbearable that even your own flesh and blood cannot stand the sight of you. So the thoughts that the story provoked were I think were the story’s best strong point.

There were many scenes that were choppy and discombobulated and the characters made this story somewhat unlikable.

The ending was slightly disappointing, however. I felt it ended too perfectly. I also felt that Hunter’s response to his father, the guardian, was odd. At one point he was glad to be within his care, but then he does a complete 180 when he tells the cop that his father kidnapped him and he’s a murderer. Completely out of nowhere.

Overall: A library borrow if you are interested

Cover C+

Waiting on Wednesday! (6)

Five Minutes More by Darlene Ryan (April 1st 2009--Ocra Books)

'“I play the Five Minutes More game. Five minutes. I can stand anything for five minutes. Even my father being dead.”

D’Arcy’s desperately wants her father’s death to have been an accident. Then she learns the truth. Why would her father choose suicide? Why didn’t she see the signs? How will she manage alone? Then D’Arcy becomes friends with Seth. Now will things get back to normal or will she have to call on strengths she didn’t know she had to make a new kind of normal, five minutes at a time?"

Click here for an except.

This meme is being hosted by Jill at Breaking the Spine!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday goes out of Carol! She's turning 50! At least that's what the cake says :)
Okay so she isn't really. Fine, I'll give you a sane cake then.

Kissing Booth

Kissing Booth by Lexie Hill (January 1st 2009—Point)

Grade: 2.5 stars out of 5

Summary: “Lisi has never been kissed. Sure, she could practice on her guy friend, Johnny, but he’s like a brother to her! So when it comes time to pick a theme for the Spring Carnival booth, Lisi suggests a "Kissing Booth," hoping it will give her the chance to get a cheek-kiss from her crush, the handsome, popular Brett. But on the day of the carnival, as rumors fly and kisses are stolen, Lisi discovers that the person she should really kiss may have been right in front of her all along.”

Review: Kissing Booth is not something to be taken critically—more of a fun, little whimsical read.

However I do have to point out that I had issues with some things. Mostly on the characters friendship wise. So Lisi has two best girl friends, Mo and Bella. They both annoy me to no end at one point or another.

Mo for instance was Lisi’s best, I mean best!, friend since childhood. After coming back from Paris after spring break, her entire appearance changes. But that does not necessary change her personality. A quarter-way into the book, she completely ditches Lisi. Why? We’ll find out later on, like later on. Does it justify her decision wholly especially since she ends up leaving Lisi for the arch nemesis, the Fly girls (aka the Dance Team)? I am leaning towards ninety percent no. I guess this is all based on what you characterize as friendship, to what extreme or clarity should you expect from close friends. The truth is not needed all the time, but a slight indication would be nice. Remember, this is all my opinion.

Bella to me was more of user than an actual friend. She practically used Lisi to achieve her goals, never mind what Lisi thinks. She (Lisi) needs to grow a backbone and say no for once. It is fine to say no since it is your heinie that is on the line.

Aside from that and the small insignificant details, Kissing Booth a mind-numbing book because it is such a simple book. The plot line was unique particularly the way the author connects all the pieces together. It felt realistic in the sense that I know these types of people. Lexie Hill captured high school drama to the tee.

Overall: Cute and funny at times, but nothing extraordinary.

Cover B+
Once again, cute

Bad Girls Don’t Die Trailer

Definitely read the book when it comes out!

Monday Mystery: Mystery Meat

Randomness it awesome. I thrive on randomness. It is what calms me down, my inner zen. My brain moves a million miles an hour, so I have to blurt out what's on my mind or else my brain gets overcrowded/overheated and I end up mauling over the same topic over and over again. So this what Monday Mystery is. A collection of random crap that inhabits my mind.

To give you guys an example or analogy of some sort, I present to you Mystery Meat.

So what is Mystery Meat? It is a concoction of random assortment of...well, meat. Basically the leftovers. That is what this meme represents. The leftover thoughts that do not pass the "can I expand this into a huge celebration week?" test.

So every Monday I plan to host an escaped thought. Whether it may be a question/poll to ask my readers, an author's interview/post, a surprise giveaway, or a fun little fact. So stop by every Monday while I make you all scratch your heads as to why I'm not in an asylum!

Now, I present to you the infamous SLOPPY JOE!

Delicious!