Powered by Blogger.
Win a copy of Nobody and Every Other Day by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (ends 2/20)

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Cuff Them Coppers

If Carol ever decides to kill, I am definitely hiring Beth Fantaskey!
Why did you become a P.I. (Private Investigator)? Is it because you're very nosy?
No…I mistakenly assumed I would get to meet “Magnum, P.I.,” if I got a license.

Do you have a trained dog to sniff out the clues?
Actually, it’s a hamster with an unusually sensitive nose. I find that its little hand-like paws are good for retrieving information.

Anyway, do you wear the long coat, the hat, and those dark sunglasses or do you wear "normal"
Clothes? Hmm… I don’t really own any “normal” clothes.

Do you work at night or during the day?
It’s a 24-hour operation.

Do you own a GIANT magnifying glass?
Two – one in gold and one in silver.

Which are your fave cases: murder or fidelity ones?
Should I be dealing with either of those things? They sound intrusive and dangerous!

How many cameras do you own?
Ditto… Should I be using a camera?

Have you ever been confused with a peeping tom?
Peeping Tomasina.

Have you ever slapped someone during a interrogation?
I abhor violence! That’s the hamster’s job.

Are you the "good" one or the "bad" one?
The hamster is definitely the “bad cop.”

Are you one of those paranoid P.I.s who sleeps with a gun, tons of locks and a wicked security system in their home?
No… I took two months of martial arts, so I figure I’m covered, security-wise.

Have you ever traveled outside of the town/city to complete your job?
I never go beyond my block! Are you kidding? I only have a white belt!

If so, where have you gone?
Front yard, back yard, side yard, other side yard.

Which was your favorite place?
The back yard is my favorite, I guess. There’s a hammock there, in case I need a rest from investigating.

Killed a man or two?
No, but I can’t vouch for the hamster.
So if her methods don't convince you to hire her, then maybe a shiny copy of her book Jessica's Guide to Dating on the Dark Side will win you over! This is an INTERNATIONAL giveaway!

All you need to do is answer the following question: What is the worst thing you have ever done to someone during a interrogation?

The winning entry will need to have creativity, execution, and by far the most important, humor. Meaning this is NOT a random giveaway. There is no limit to how much you can write or how little you need to write.

For a second chance to win, head on over to Carol's blog where you will receive a second question to answer. Please leave the answer to her question on HER blog. Only one winner will be chosen from the combined entries (meaning we will pick one winner from all the entries from both mine and her blog).

All entries (for all the giveaways) must be received, via commented or emailed, by 25th of April. Winners will be announced at the same time later that week.

22 comments:

  1. The worst thing I ever did to someone in an interrogation is made them pet my dog. I mean, really, she's so cute you would think this would be a treat and she'd cuddle with you, lick you, hug you...NO. she's absolutely vicious when she doesn't know you or doesn't like you.

    I swear she's part wolf, with her crazy eyes and shar teeth, loud and shrieking bark, and if you touch her? OH NOOOO you better run because she's quick and SNAP, she's got you by the arm, ripping open your skin.

    It's pretty brutal, but she's a great weapon. Cute on the outside, crazy on the inside.

    -Lauren

    ReplyDelete
  2. I tickled them until they gave me information. I mean seriously what could be worst then getting tickled well your tied to a chair. You just cant stop squirming

    ReplyDelete
  3. These interviews ARE hysterical!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I got a bit sick of interrogating this clown once...He was one of those guys that did kids' parties and he seemed really bitter about this 5 year old at his last gig that thought the balloon dragon he made him looked like a turtle. Tragic, really, but I'd been listening to the clown whine about it for 10 minutes too long.
    So, they let him out for a bathroom break and I poked holes in all of his unused balloons.
    When he returned, I asked him to make me a balloon crown. Simple. He couldn't do it. Something about his balloons being tampered with supposedly, but in his stress he confessed to stealing the kids' puppies when leaving their parties.
    I'm proud of my methods though.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The worst thing I ever did in an interrogation was flash the suspect. I'm really embarrassed by this. So I was interrogating someone about a stolen box of kiwi-lime Mike and Ike Popsicle (There are those Popsicle out there, I had one last night!) and my assistant picked up the perpetrator for me. But I was running late, so I slipped on a WHITE t0shirt and no bra, figuring I would use a sweater I had at the office for protection. But of course I hadn't realized it was raining out! So I ran out in the rain and got SOAKED!

    So, when I finally got to the office where my assistant, the strong, buff, and orange haired Treyvon Adin (his name :) if that wasn't clear), had the perpetrator set up in the interrogation room I used. I got all set up and when I looked for my sweater IT WASN'T THERE! But I had a bunch to do that day so I had to hurry and get the interrogation on with it.

    I went into the room and Treyvon turned bright red, but my brain was so cluttered I had no idea why! The suspect, Mrs. Iyana Blanca, an old lady about 70 years old, looked at me with her violet eyes and they got wide. I started by asking her a question to get on with it: "Where were you at dawn on the 17th of this month, Mrs. Blanca?" She was so tiny and little that I was surprised when she spoke with a big husky voice: "I DID IT! JUST, FOR GOD'S SAKE PUT A SWEATER ON, miss." With a nervous smile. I looked down and realized my boobs were hanging loose and my shirt was kinda low cut so you could see some cleavage, but they were for the world to see.

    My shirt was soaked skintight from the storm outside and my frizzy auburn hair was drying a bit and standing up everywhere. I must of scared the poor lady. Whoopsy Daisy. :) But at least I got the confession quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  6. the worst thing I ever did? Someone told me that tickling isn't an appropriate torture device but it seemed to do the trick.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I paused to take a phone call after it let out my favourite Korean song as a ringtone. I mean, how could I resist the happy-go-lucky music?? Sadly, I did not get any happy news when I picked it up though. My sister, the guardian of all my mangas while I'm away, reported a kid opened beyond 30 degrees while holding my manga! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? OVER 30 DEGREES FOR MY BRAND NEW SPANKING MANGA!

    In anger, I threw an old manga I had with me in my bag at the suspect...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lol, and yes that is the worse thing I ever done to a person during an interrogation. The poor guy got a paper cut and attempted to sue. Didn't get to far though after he was found guilty. Hail the razor sharp edges of the manga! (Keep manga as new even if old)

    ReplyDelete
  9. The worst thing I ever did to someone in an interrogation is to make them watch SOUND OF MUSIC on a loop. After the upteenth time of hearing MY FAVORITE THINGS, the suspect was ready to crack ... MWAHAHHAHAHAHA ....

    Lesley

    ReplyDelete
  10. The worst thing that I've ever done to someone in an interrogation was make them eat chillis and cod liver oil. They soon confessed everything.

    katiepinn@hotmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  11. The worst thing I've done during an interrogation involved the soundtrack to Annie, a plate of cookies harder than brick (scientifically tested), and a squirrel. For my own anonymity I can say no more ;)

    ReplyDelete
  12. During one interrogation I made someone be my guinea pig of sorts. I'd been working on hiding in plain sight for several weeks--it's what a good P.I. has to do, isn't it?--but the results were wearing on me.

    The only readily apparent side effect was the spontaneous mustache a pill to change my hair color at will had given me. But it was the invisible ones that were the problem. So, I was more than ready to try things out on someone else.

    We made it through the first several hours with minimal trouble (a blue wart here, a literal green thumb there) but it was the 'Fight or Flight' pill that did it.

    He sprouted wings that just started beating like a hummingbird's...and paired with the 'fight' part (it missed the 'or' it seems), he just went up and up and up.

    His screams were the last thing I heard. So, I suppose that's the worst thing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. See, this one time, we caught a toilet paper theif with a chocolate fetish. Then, for forty-eight hours straight, we had people go in (single-file) and eat chocolate right in front of them. Slowly, with much sighing and smiles of ecstacy. And then they wiped their mouths using the recovered stolen toilet paper (don't worry - it was the supersoft quality stuff!) After fortyeight hours, they broke down and revealed the information. Score.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Well, one time at an interrogation, the lady that was there just would NOT confess to dying the little campers $50 white shirt bright, bright, yellow, which was her worst color. So, after an hour of trying to get her to admit it, I finally reached into my bag, and grabbed out a book and started reading. Yes, reading! Everything was fine and dandy and I was actually enjoying myself and the culprit was starting to loosen up and admit to dying the shirt so she could just get out of there, when the manager walked into the room wondering what in the world was taking so long! And of course, he saw me reading, and the culprit trying to explain and asking if he could leave (yes, he started saying that right when the manager walked in to get me in trouble!! And so, I got fired. I deeply regret ever choosing to read my book at an interrogation. If I ever get my job back, I will never do it again!

    countrystars95@yahoo.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. The worst thing I ever did to someone in an interrogation was when the suspect was an 11-years-old girl.

    I took her cell phone, texted every guy she had in her phone book "I love you with all my heart<3" and took out a sledgehammer. Then I hit the phone so it broke into a million pieces.

    Really, that's a big deal to 11-year-olds.

    Then I took her iPod and replaced the songs with good ol' country music, and stuffed them into her ears to listen to it. I told her that next up I was going to cut her hair. Soon as I said that, she quickly confessed her crime. What was her crime? HORRIBLE FASHION.

    michelle.kuool(at)yahoo(dot)com

    ReplyDelete
  16. The worst thing I ever did was this one suspect who had the most gorgeous fishbowl blue hair (it's a Special Effects colour, you can look it up). I... I... I made her dye it brown!! I'm so ashamed.

    But it worked.

    Oh, what was her crime?

    She stole my Electric Blue Special Effects. You NEVER touch my Special Effects. *glares*

    ReplyDelete
  17. I poked her in the eye. I know it was mean, but she deserved it!

    sweet.me.lissa818@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  18. I made the suspect listen to all of Celine Dion's cds on repeat for two days straight. I am so ashamed! But while I was interrogating him, he...he...HE ENDED A SENTENCE WITH A PREPOSITION!! I know, can you believe it? Oh, I take it back. I am not in the least bit ashamed! He's lucky that's all I did. I could have made him sit through a Hannah Montana marathon or said "Ni!" to him repetitively.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Are you implying here that my interrogation techniques are BAD? That I might have incurred certain cruelties to those

    who have had the misfortu- I mean, the few who may have required questioning from lil 'ol me? That I may have used

    methods of torture that included hanging people upside down by their toes, eating the last of their Ben & Jerry's, or

    making them sit through multiple screenings of Norbit? Because that would just be wrong. And preposterous. And

    completely unfounded as accusations...

    ... Really, though, just out of curiosity... who have you been talking to? No, it's okay. You can tell me.

    Don't be shy. I won't hurt you.

    I SAID GIVE ME NAMES!

    Don't make me pull out the Youtube videos of Sanjaya's performances. Oh yes, I would.

    mya.rooney@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  20. *I'm just going to post this again with proper formatting. I'm anal, I know*

    Are you implying here that my interrogation techniques are BAD? That I might have incurred certain cruelties to those who have had the misfortu- I mean, the few who may have required questioning from lil 'ol me? That I may have used methods of torture that included hanging people upside down by their toes, eating the last of their Ben & Jerry's, or making them sit through multiple screenings of Norbit? Because that would just be wrong. And preposterous. And completely unfounded as accusations...

    ... Really, though, just out of curiosity... who have you been talking to? No, it's okay. You can tell me.

    Don't be shy. I won't hurt you.

    I SAID GIVE ME NAMES!

    Don't make me pull out the Youtube videos of Sanjaya's performances. Oh yes, I would.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I have become known in my circles over the years as one of the harshest interrogators. They all want to know my secret, the thing that will make a suspect tell all, and then go completely insane. I will release it to you, but you'd better keep it quiet...

    Complete immersion... in Hannah Montana music.

    It never fails.

    Though the knives, lasers, experimental drugs, and Chinese water torture probably help too.

    paradoxrevealed (at) aim (dot) com

    ReplyDelete
  22. I kept on asking the same question over, and over again, and wouldn't stop. In between all of the questions, I would start laughing when the person started speaking. And I would do this over, and over again.

    ReplyDelete