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Win a copy of Nobody and Every Other Day by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (ends 2/20)

Friday, April 10, 2009

Waddle, Flap, and Splash

Look! Look! We scored an awesome catch! We caught the elusive Story Siren~
How did you become a mermaid?
I was born a siren. My sperm donor actually trained the Navy Seals in California and my grandfather was an Olympic swimmer. Water is in my blood. (Most of that is actually true!) I have a cousin that is a mermaid, but really we are two different species. Personally, I think I’m much cooler.

Were you born with your siren voice?
No. Siren’s aren’t actually born with their song, it is something we develop later. It’s a lot like going through puberty. And it sucks just as bad.

When did you find out you were a siren?
I’ve always known, my mom thought it was important that I was aware of my heritage. Although being a siren today is a lot different that what it used to be.

Whenever you get hit with water, do you grow fins and a tail?
Not at all. That’s totally a myth. I’m pretty sure mermaids don’t have that problem either. It’s all a mind over matter thing.

Has any sailors ever gotten killed by your alluring voice?
Not me personally, but you know back in the day that stuff was pretty common place for us sirens.

When you use your voice, can you get men to do anything you want?
Most of the time yes. We do have a code of conduct we have to live by. It’s not like we can just take what we want. Although that would be pretty cool! I’ve been tempted many times.

Is that how you get all those books?
No. You actually have to have physical contact for the whole siren lure to work. It must be my good looks that get me all the books.

Do you wear seashells as a bra or just cover yourself with your long hair?
Well it just depends. Like right now my hair isn’t long enough, so that’s kind of out. Don’t want the girls hanging out, if you know what I mean. And shells are like so 1000 BC. We actually like to something with a little comfort and support.

How many are there of you guys?
Unfortunately, I’m not at liberty to disclose that sort of information.

Does your hubby know about your siren voice? did you use it on him? No he doesn’t know. And of course I used it on him, how do you think I hooked such a hottie. I totally stole that from Tina Ferraro.

What's your highest pitch?
I’m not even sure if there is a note to classify it, let’s just say it makes your eardrums bleed.

Can you shatter a mirror?
Of course.

Do women fall under your siren spell?
No. But I don’t know any siren’s who swing that way. Perhaps if they were...?

Do you like to sit on rocks while you sing?
Have you ever sat on a rock? Yeah, it’s not very comfortable. I prefer soft blades of luscious grass or powdery smooth sands. The best sand is the black sand beaches! So smooth and warm.... ahhhh.

How many men have killed themselves because you wouldn't sing for them?
Yeah, another one of those things that I’m not at liberty to say. (Not that many– I didn’t say that!)

Were you the one that almost killed Telemachus?
No, that had to have been like my great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great grandma or something.

Do you have to train your vocals or do they just come naturally?
Most of the ability comes naturally, but it does help to train. I mean practice makes perfect.

How long do sirens live?
We aren’t immortal anymore, which is a good thing or a bad thing depending on how you look at it. We have a prolonged life period, but it isn’t long enough to be noticeable.

How old are you?
Don’t you wish I would tell! HA!

Do you have webbed feet?
Gross. No, I’m not a duck.

Are you related to Michael Phelps? What about Dana Torres?
Not Michael that I know of, but he probably carries the gene. Men don’t become sirens, but they do carry the gene. Dana on the other hand... I might have seen her around the block. But you didn’t hear that from me.

Do you dive head first into the ocean?
Well I wade out a little bit so I don’t hit my head.

Is it hard living in Indiana where there's no beach?
There are a lot of lakes in Indiana. As long as I’m in certain proximity to water I’m fine. I could never like go to Vegas out in the middle of the dessert or something like that. I have to have natural water, lake or ocean. Heck even a pond will do.

Do you pretend to swim in your bathtub?
Um, yeah. Doesn’t everyone?

Do you go to the Y at midnight to turn into a siren?
No. My Y smells funny.

Do you think that Renee being the killer in True Blood was random and came out of nowhere?
Oh my GOSH, Yes! I loved Renee and his phony Cajun accent. I’m going to have to get me some of the tapes, so I can talk Cajun too. I even though Renee was cute and sweet. Bastard.

What happens if you drink water?
It hydrates my body. Increases my circulation, helps hydrate my skin, so that I look younger. It enhances fat loss, combats ailments, reduces hunger and it makes me feel good.

What happens when Xander licks you or when your hubby kisses you?
Well when Xander licks me, I get this little itchy rash, because I think I must be allergic to his saliva or something. And when my hubby kisses me, I usually get all warm and tingly.
Kristi is giving away an ARC of The Diamonds by Ted Micheal! This is a Canada and US only giveaway because she's broke/poor which I can sympathize with!

All you need to do is answer the following question: How did you become a mermaid?

The winning entry will need to have creativity, execution, and by far the most important, humor. Meaning this is NOT a random giveaway. There is no limit to how much you can write or how little you need to write.

For a second chance to win, head on over to Carol's blog where you will receive a second question to answer. Please leave the answer to her question on HER blog. Only one winner will be chosen from the combined entries (meaning we will pick one winner from all the entries from both mine and her blog).

All entries (for all the giveaways) must be received, via commented or emailed, by 25th of April. Winners will be announced at the same time later that week.


  1. How come everyone else got the normal interviews?

  2. How did I become a mermaid, you ask? Well, it all started about two years ago when I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend. Everything was going fine and dandy, the sky was a nice bright blue, the ocean water was at its usual state - a little murky and swimmers couldn't see to the bottom. We were goofing around pounding mud at each other (yes, I know...), when all of sudden I felt something hanging onto my leg. Truthfully, it felt like when my little brother grabbed onto my legs begging me to do something for him. I called out to my friend, telling her to knock it off and let go of me! When there was no result, I glanced over my should and she was staring right at me with wide eyes wondering what was wrong with me, why would I tell her to knock it off if she wasn't doing anything? Thats when I started thrashing and kicking my leg and tried to run out of the grip. I got no were and it started pulling me under, and under farther , and finally all the way under to were my nose was just sticking out of the water. "Help!" my friend called out, trying to grab my arm and pull me up with no luck. I'd already given up, and as my mouth was under water, I couldn't much say a goodbye! Then, before I new it, I was all the way down and I was being moved so fast farther into the ocean water. I was taken to a little cave. I found out then that mermaids really did exist when a young looking girl with a long fin popped out of the water and said "my name is Tricia, I am now going to turn you into a mermaid." Then, she grabbed my feet, and bit them! Yes, bit them! She had sharp teeth to. I must have fainted or something because within the next few hours, I woke up with a terribly sore back, and fins! She told me later that the reason she turned me into a mermaid was because of the pain I caused her when I kicked her trying to get out of her grasp! Sheesh! What a temper! Now, I live underwater as a mermaid one week, and then as a human the next, because you see I can't stay human longer than a week because otherwise the ocean drags me back and I would have to face some pretty harsh things. Not good. And that is how I became a mermaid, with a pretty purple tail, long blond hair, and a pearl necklace.

    Thanks for the contest!

  3. I ate a fish that gave me the mermaid disease. Sucked when you wake up, thirsting for huge amounts of water. Then when you get out of bed to fall over, realizing your legs are gone. Quite a shock but thankful for human lungs. Now I can't eat fish anymore sadly... I mean, fish is important to your diet! But every time I look at one, I don't think food any more. It's like, "Fish are friends, not food" =(

  4. these are great... awesome, fantastic...

  5. I was swimming one day and I got stung by something. I wasn't sure what it was but later that night at home i was craving water and noticed some sparkly scales appearing on my legs. After a few hours my legs were replaced by fins and I was desperate for water. So I got a friend to carry me back to the ocean - yeah that was awkward - and i jumped in. I instantly felt better and I have lived happily since...although I would still like to meet whatever stung me.

  6. I was swimming like a normally at my swim team practice. I was doing butterfly when all of a sudden my legs started felling really itchy and dry which is wierd because you are in water. Then I started like sinking in deep end then I saw this bright shining light at the top of the ceiling and started to jump for it. I jumped out of the water and I did a jump in the air like a dolphin and then when I started to get of the pool I couldn't get up. Then I looked down and saw that I had grown a tail with scales on it.That is when I realized I was a mermaid.


    * not proof read

  7. Well I always wanted to learn how to swim but for some odd reason my parents didn't let me swim or take baths (but i never stunk, just so you don't think i am gross.) Then one day I was being bad I went out to the beach with my waterproof laptop and swam and all of a sudden I was a mermaid (HOW COOL IS THAT!) I was never able to see my parents again but it is okay they weren't my real parents or else I wouldn't be a mermaid. Fortunately I brought my waterproof laptop or else I wouldn't be able to tell you my story or enter this awesome contest!

    -Senfaye :P

  8. One day I was in my bedroom when this maaaaaaaagical birdie pops outta nowhere! It talked too! It said, "You suck." WELL! I was so very flabbergasted by this litto birdie's crude language. But I was tired, and went to bed, forgetting about that bird bully. But then in the morning, when I woke up, I felt cold. REALLY cold. I get up and fall over. I look down, because I know I'm clumsy, but still! AHHH, my clothes are gone, my hair is extremely long, I have this long fin as my feet! AND IT WAS PINK! Ew!

    Then that magical birdie pops up again. I yell at it and it POOFS me right into the ocean! I start freaking out, because at home, at least my hair would cover my boobs. But in the water, my hair just floats everywhere! GAHH! Bright side was, Nemo looked delicious :) Plus, it was practically an endless supply of shark fin soup.


  9. I was born a mermaid. Until I was three or so, I didn't have legs. My parents used to carry be around in a bucket to keep my tail from drying out. Salted, of course. Fresh water is so passe, you know.

  10. I always wondered what would happen when you stayed in the water past the point where your toes get all wrinkly. So I engaged in an intense scientific experiment. First, my toes and fingers got wrinkly, then my legs got all wrinkly, too! But I didn't get scared off; I just kept swimming. Soon, the wrinkles started turning into scales, slowly getting greener and greener. I was afraid my legs would fall of entirely, but instead they just started melting into each other and before I knew it, they fused into a tail! I've been frolicking naked in the ocean ever since!

  11. When I was still an embryo, I was injected with mermaid genes. Ever since then...

  12. I was an unemployed maker of 'Q' keys for typewriters and the prospect of any new employment in that field didn't seem very likely on the horizon. As my financial situation became dire and I was no longer able to feed my need to enlarge my Hawaiian shirt collection, I was forced to apply for a job at the local aquarium. They were so desperate for someone to swim around in their tanks, wearing a mermaid's tail and seashells that they only paused for a second at my sideburns and extra arm before they gave me the job.

  13. Well, I've always been a maid - the "mer" was a little harder to accomplish, but I did it after 10 years of patience and buckets of fish!

    I had always wanted to be Ariel in The Little Mermaid, and so I used the old adage of "I think, therefore I am" to grow a fish tail! Plus, I think there's another saying "You are what you eat." So I got on a 100% fish diet, scales included. I chose rainbow fish because they have pretty scales! Soon I started to get scales all over me - but that was half the work.

    Then I refused to leave the bathtub and practiced holding my breath underwater. I think all that fish helped because soon I had no problem being underwater!

    I have to admit that I am a rather unusual mermaid - I have two scaly leg-tails, but I think it's better that way. Now I can live the best of both worlds!

  14. I wasn't always a mermaid... They turned me. In a way they are a bit like vampires, but much more hypnotizing. All they have to do is sing, and you will do their every word. But me... they didn't want my blood, but for me to become part of their slimy immortal horde. So now I'm basically a vampire that's half fish. Well, it's got its good side. I can hypnotize others with my words, and make them do whatever I want...
    Keep reading. Keep reading.... Yes! I've got you in my spell. Just a little bit longer and you'll fall asleep, and then the next thing you know you'll be the next course for a coven of mermaids at the bottom of the ocean.

    paradoxrevealed (at) aim (dot) com

  15. Oh well I made a deal with Ursula when Ariel made her deal. I said that Ariel would break the deal and that if she does, turn me into a mermaid, that way, I can become that mermaid who marries the prince! Ariel was SOO SOO close to not breaking the deal. And if she didn't, she would be fresh fish sticks. And since she did, I became a mermaid and I went WHEE!

  16. I was stuck on the hull of a ship for forty seven years after being carved out of wood by some artisan in Venice. He didn't even have the decency of giving me any sort of top, I was floating across the sea topless for nearly half a century--can you believe it!

    But I wasn't a mermaid then, not really. I was just a piece of wood. One day, though, some sirens did an especially beautiful job of singing their song and the sailors of my ship wre not quite able to keep their ears shut and they ran us ashore.

    I thought that I would be left their forever, just staring at the rocks, but then something miraculous happened. A rock from the top of the formation came tumbling down-straight at me! I was sure it was going to crack my face or break off one of my arms but somehow it hit just right on my back and dislodged my entire body from the ship and into the sea I fell.

    And then something I would never, in a million-or even ten million-years have expected...my wood turned to flesh, the green paint of my tail to scales, the brown of my hair to flowing tresses....I became a real mermaid!

    Ever since then I have spent my days swimming the seas, thanking those sirens for luring the men to the rocks and freeing me from my wooden confines.