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Win a copy of Nobody and Every Other Day by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (ends 2/20)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Do You Want To See Something Jiggle?

Next up is Kristin Walker!
Have you heard about 'Hooters'? Do you wanna join them or are they too conservative for you?
I tried to join, but they said I’d throw off the hotness curve by too much. In other words, I was a hotness outlier.

I didn’t realize until later that they meant I was an outlier on the low end.

But who knew that Hooters operated on such a precise mathematical algorithm? I know! I was shocked, too.

In your opinion are the Pussycat Dolls conservative based on your new lifestyle?
I don’t even put them on the guest list for my parties anymore.

What made you join a nudist camp?
I didn’t. I was kidnapped. But then they took my clothes, and what was I supposed to do? It’s not like I could hitch-hike home. Or drive. I mean, where would I keep my keys?

What did your husband think of that idea?
He was cool with it until they took his clothes, too.

Are you open minded?
I absolutely refuse to acknowledge any merit in that question. La-la-la-la, I’m not listeningggggg. Everything I believe is correct and everything else is wronggggg.

Do you enjoy showing your love to others?
I prefer just to email them about it.

When joining the nudist colony, do you make an campfire, burn your clothes and dance around the fire?
Unfortunately, that hasn’t been done since the Tragic Polyester Fume Poisoning of 1977.

Let’s take a moment of silence…

Do you have to have a bikini wax?
No, only the men do.

Do you feel pressured to be thin, waxed, and beautiful in the camp or do you love your body the way it is?
How do you know I’m NOT thin, waxed, and beautiful, HUH? Who told you? Mary Lou? Was it Mary Lou? It was, wasn’t it? She lies.

Do you feel sexy with high heels with nothing else on?
Please…you could be wearing high heels with a hospital robe and feel sexy. High heels make everything sexy. It’s true! Think about it:

Wetsuit = not sexy; Wetsuit + high heels = sexy

Overalls = not sexy; Overalls + high heels = sexy

Skanky, ripped sweatpants you’ve had for seven years and your dad’s old undershirt with paint drips all over it and armpit stains = not sexy; Skanky, ripped sweatpants you’ve had for seven years and your dad’s old undershirt with paint drips all over it and armpit stains + high heels = …okay, still not sexy. Actually, it’s kind of psychotic. Well, that one doesn’t work.

Is it weird to see all those dangling, jiggling body parts?
How did you find out about my irrational fear of butcher shops? Mary Lou again! Damn her!

Do your boobs hurt after all that bouncing when you run/dance?
Oh, there’s no bouncing. I just roll them up and tuck them in my armpits. (Hey, you try nursing babies for half a decade and see how yours look.)

What's your best asset? (body wise)
I have exceptional earlobes. Truly, I do. Even Mary Lou will tell you so. People comment on my earlobes all the time. Although they may say that they love my earrings or that my earrings are stunning, I know they really mean my earlobes. It’s just that white-hot jealousy prevents them from being forthright.

Do you like to frolic in the nude? Do you like to frolic in the nude with others?
I have never frolicked in my life and never will. Nude or otherwise. How dare you suggest such a thing as frolicking? Disgusting. You should be ashamed.

Does your husband get jealous of the leers that you get?
He gets plenty of leers of his own! He doesn’t need to be jealous of mine. Sheesh.

Is hugging weird or a turn on?
Depends on what I’m hugging. Hugging a clown? Weird. Hugging a Birkin Bag? Turn on.

(But just to clarify, I’d never be so shallow and materialistic as to hug a clown.)

Do you sit on other people's laps? If so, what's that like?
Well, yes, and I must say it’s rather uncomfortable, noisy, and remarkably expensive. Oh, wait…I thought you said “sit on other people’s laptops.” Does that count?

Anything else you want to add?
Yes, please. If you don’t mind…564,828 + 9,731,094 = 10,295,922

Phew, thank you. I needed to get that off my chest.

This was super fun! Thanks!
Kristin is giving an ARC of her debut book A Match Made in High School (which by the way is hilarious!) along with some bookmarks! This is a Canada and US giveaway only!

All you need to do is answer the following question: Do you like to frolic in the nude with others? Why or why not?

The winning entry will need to have creativity, execution, and by far the most important, humor. Meaning this is NOT a random giveaway. There is no limit to how much you can write or how little you need to write.

For a second chance to win, head on over to Carol's blog where you will receive a second question to answer. Please leave the answer to her question of HER blog. Only one winner will be chosen from the combined entries, from both mine and hers.

All entries (for all the giveaways) must be received, via commented or emailed, by 25th of April. Winners will be announced at the same time later that week.

22 comments:

  1. hmmm frolicking in the nude. yup, would totally do it. i mean, honestly, we came out naked into the world, we should feel more comfortable naked in the world :D

    stephanie

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  2. Hmm... Nude frolicking. Well I mean that could be a yes or a no. Before a nice long skinny dip then sure. Before a nice long mud bath, no way! :). Of course I wouldn't mind, just nobody wants to look at my dang hot body and know its gonna be dirty in a few minutes :P

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  3. I am not a fan of frolicking in the nude and not because I have a problem with being naked but because I am ALWAYS COLD. seriously I am that crazy person wearing a sweatshirt in July so being naked would be a serious problem with me. Unless I moved to some Carribean Island. oh, maybe that is the answer. Move to tropical island and frolic in the nude is now at the top of my to-do list!

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  4. I'm not entering, but this interview was HYSTERICAL!

    Kristin, hug a Birkin bag! you go girl!

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  5. I've always wanted to but now at 52...not many would look without laughing....sigh.

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  6. "I prefer just to email them about it."
    LOL
    Or say it in a blog, like me.
    Love you, kiddo.
    :)
    Rockin' interview. I needed a good laugh.

    And I'm not entering either because I OWN an ARC of A MATCH MADE IN HIGH SCHOOL. It's on my FAVORITE BOOKS shelf. And no, I'm not giving it away. It's MINE, all mine.

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  7. HAHAHA, this interview was hilarious!

    Would I frolic in the nude with others? Why of course! Well, depends on who I'm frolicking with ;) Like, I wouldn't frolic in the nude with a creepy 50 year old guy because you never know what they'd be thinking. But if I get to frolic with a hot guy... I can embrace his beauty too :) But then again, a guy frolicking just sends me a message that maybe this guy isn't straight... hmm.

    michelle.kuool(at)yahoo(dot)com

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  8. I don't neccessarily like to frolick in the nude, but I do enjoy skinny dipping!

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  9. Nude frolicking...not with my body ;)

    jaam121388 at yahoo dot com

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  10. Yes! Score one! Another chance to talk about my nude camp opinions (see Carols contest)! I do enjoy frolicking around with the nudes in a nude camp because of the freedom and simplicity of life because of it. However, truthfully, please don't tell anyone, but I find it rather disgusting while eating at the weekly potlucks with everyone else. As long as when I'm looking someone else in the eye and their doing the same to me, while talking, I dont really mind. Its just when your trying to talk to someone and their looking all over the place that I start to feel uncomfortable and turn around to walk away, or is that really the best choice? Gulp. So no, I dont really mind frolicking around with the nudes excet for the special circumstances mentioned above. So glad we had this little chat! Toodles! See you at nude camp! (Oh, I might say that it gets a little cold in the Winter)

    **********************************
    (Please take that answer with a grain of salt (I really do were clothes, no nude frolics for moi!)

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  11. This girl does not frolic! She is an unhappy child and can not frolic to save her life! So to frolic in nude? Puh-leaze. Not only is a lonely child but an angry child as well! Likely to throw a dodge ball at those frolicking in front of her and make sure they are all knocked down before she sells the image on Ebay.

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  12. I'm not a frolicker but I'm a huge Kristin Walker fan! GREAT interview!!

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  13. True story. My husband and I spent our honeymoon in Jamaica where it took me a week to get the nerve to visit a nude beach. (Remember, I was confident, young, and thin.) When we arrived, I was in complete shock seeing a man in his eighties with his frank and beans nestled between his legs--sunning, I presume. Obviously, I the opportunity to view old-man-balls had never occurred before. I witnessed first-hand the effects of gravity as one progresses in years. Needless to say, I am still traumatized. Other people's nude just isn't pretty, folks. Beans belong behind boxers.

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  14. Who doesn't like frolicking in the nude?!?!?! It is an AMAZING feeling, when you go outside you can feel the wind when you are running and I really mean feel it! (LOL!) It is so much more comfortable in the nude!

    -Senfaye :P
    annieluvsmuffin@Gmail.com

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  15. I do not frolic. I am the incarnation of evil. The incarnation of evil does not frolic.

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  16. Well, I'm not much of a frolicker to begin with so I'd definitely not feel comfortable frolicking in the nude. I'd have to get over frolicking fully clothed first.

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  17. Um... not particularly. Well, it depends. No, not really. Only if it's in the dark ;) That makes everything more fun.

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  18. I would frolic with others but not by myself. If I was others people wouldn't make fun you and by myself people are definetly gonna point and stare.

    Megan
    bookworm8675309@yahoo.com

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  19. Of course. A good healthy frolicking is good for the soul.

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  20. It depends. Will there be hungry hungry hippos? If not, then I prefer nude bocce ball.

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  21. Frolicking with the nude is for horses and old people. Why else do you think I avoid the beaches? Especially in Europe...

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  22. Not so much so, no. You have to know how jealous I would make everyone, don't you? Then there's the fact that I have dogs and besides being kind of squicky-in my opinion-all their little scratches and bites would really, really hurt without some fabric padding.

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