What's it like being Aphrodite?
Why are you almost always naked?
I hate doing laundry.
So you were born from the sea?
Oh, that’s just a story all parents tell their kids to avoid talking about you-know-what. Why? What did your parents tell you? Storks? Those ugly creatures? Ew.
Why sleep with so many men?
I was head-over-heels in love, sometimes, anyway. And maybe I do have a few father issues. Quit analyzing me. It’s irritating. Why do you like the guy who sits three seats behind you in English, huh? See, it’s irritating.
What's your fascination with love?
Isn’t that what we all really want? I mean, really, have you even watched those desperate wenches on The Bachelor?
Are your sisters constantly jealous?
Their problem, not mine. Like would you blame a strawberry for tasting sweet? I simply can’t help it if I’m more beautiful.
How's it like living in Mt. Olympus?
Not as much nightlife as I’d like—I keep telling Zeus we should relocate to LA or something. Why should Paris Hilton get all the tabloid attention? That girl could never start a war with her face like my gal Helen. And hello? A girl named Paris—like have her parents not even heard about the Trojan War?
What's it like being married to a smith?
Totally lame. Hephaestus may be good with his hands, but he spent all his time making trinkets for the gods, and, yeah, me—but gifts can only get you so far. Not that I wanted his smudgy, stinking, grotesque self anywhere near me, but I had to tell my father something, you know.
Have you ever had the urge to smack Zeus in the face?
Um, yeah. And worse. I can be pretty creative, you know. I’m not just a pretty face. I’ve got brains too.
What about Hera?
No hard feelings. I did get that apple (frankly, Hera’s just not that pretty or smart) And so what if that silly little beauty contest caused a war?
Why did you have an affair with Ares?
Oh, come on. Girls like me always go for the bad boys.
Which do you prefer, your Greek name or your Roman name?
Having the star/planet Venus named for me is nice and all, but I prefer the Greek Aphrodite. It’s harder to spell.
How have you survived all these centuries?
Well, my family stories are far more interesting than anything you people have come up with. Goddesses versus Gossip Girls, I mean, really! Although, I could see myself having a fling with that Chuck Bass fellow…
Fave creature you have had a relationship with?
The more interesting question is what are they saying about me? Just tell me one little thing, please… Pan keeps ignoring my MySpace friend requests.
Is cupid your illegitimate child?
Isn’t he a cutie? Oh, my cherubic little sweetie. Just let me know if you want him to help you hook up with that certain someone. We can totally work something out.
(for a more mature cupid, click here)
Will you take me to Mt Olympus?
No, you take me to LA instead. I want my own Reality Show.
Which of the gods have you not slept with? Or have you slept with all of 'em?
Are you calling me a slut? Well, are you?!? Have you like even read what people are writing about you on Facebook? And you’re talking about me. Humph!
Do you discriminate based on gender or do you have love for everyone?
Everyone deserves love. Everyone! And I’ll go all wrathful on you, if you try to say anything different.
Why are you so concerned with beauty? Do you have low self-esteem issues?
Well, I’m not saying that it’s true, but I may, just might, have a few issues… What do you expect when you grow up hearing that you were created from some dude’s castrated testicles. Let’s just say I always keep a depilatory (Oh, look it up. I told you I’m not stupid) in my makeup bag.
Is Helen of Troy a descendant of yours? I mean she did create a war cause she's so gosh darn gorgeous?
What can I say? Men are fools and do foolish things around beautiful girls. But I think you already know plenty about that, don’t you? I’m totally following you on Twitter so don’t even try to deny it.
Was Helen gorgeous based on our present standards of beauty? What about you?
What’s with everyone wanting to be so skinny these days? You walk around looking like you’ve been traveling around the Aegean with Odysseus for ten years. Don’t you know girls look better with curves? Maybe you should look back to our beauty standards. I’m just saying…
Can you have someone kill someone for me?
What’s in it for me?
How do you stay young-looking? Botox? Face-lifts?
How dare you even ask!?! It’s natural, all natural. Falling in love does wonders for the skin—even after, you know, a few centuries, okay millennia.
How do you keep your boobs perky? Boob job?
A guy carves your likeness in granite—and let’s just say from that point on you work a little harder to stay in shape (push-ups, a little yoga, free weights).
Do you have a secret potion instead?
A little confidence. A lot of attitude. That’s the secret.
How come you gods lost your power or are you like a volcano, getting ready to burst?
Just because you’re not reading about us in People Magazine or on TMZ.com, doesn’t mean we’ve lost power. You think that guy’s crushing on you simply because of your charms? Give us a little credit, huh?
Do you want to stay immortal?
Wouldn’t you? I mean, you know, if you were me.
--Aphrodite, AKA Sydney Salter, author of My Big Nose & Other Natural Disasters
All you need to do is answer the following question: How do you stay young looking?
The winning entry will need to have creativity, execution, and by far the most important, humor. Meaning this is NOT a random giveaway. There is no limit to how much you can write or how little you need to write.
For a second chance to win, head on over to Carol's blog where you will receive a second question to answer. Please leave the answer to her question on HER blog. Only one winner will be chosen from the combined entries (meaning we will pick one winner from all the entries from both mine and her blog).
All entries (for all the giveaways) must be received, via commented or emailed, by 25th of April. Winners will be announced at the same time later that week.